Do you think it's my fault?

[Sylphine]

I have a big fight with my boyfriend (I'm not kidding!) yesterday, it all begins with that I can't play FFXI as much as I should be.

I have to go to work as an information-provider in a big saminar this Tuesday, and I have to cancel a meeting with him and another friend (a girl) scheduled on Monday since I have to prepare for the job for the seminar. (This seminar lasts 4 days) And ended up having a fight with him just because that the meeting has been postponed for too many times. (one from my final examination, another from I having to escort my papa at the airport before leaving, and finally from the seminar)

I tried and tried to make him understand that I really have to go, but he just went mad and yelled at me. I know it's my fault that I can't play the game and I can't even keep the promise about the meeting, but why have it ended up with a fight!?

My friend understands that I really have to go, but my boyfriend didn't.

Can you tell me, is it my fault? And what should I do with him.

He's now very furious, he blocked all my contact ways and didn't get in to FFXI anymore...Should I quit being his girlfriend? No matter how I explain or apologize, he doesn't seem to rid of his mad state.

[Kahvi]

Its not your fault that RL is interfering with your fun time.

Job > play when it comes to putting food on the table and a roof over your head.

Family > play because they raised you and should show some respect

and men are idiots anyway, so just let him alone for a bit and he'll come crawling back to you after he realizes what a jerk he was.
If he doesnt come back, then you didn't need someone like him anyway. There are lots of other guys out there that would be more understanding about the situation than him.

[Yukira]

Indeed....we're not all idiots you know.

[Wilemina]

Sylph. Please forgive my rudeness; but your boyfriend sounds like a real prick!!
He obviously doesn't care about you very much if he expects you to put him before your family and career.
Dump that baggage, life is too short!!

[Kintrra]

Seriously. That's hardly your fault if your RL takes over your game time. We don't have game time without RL. Shove it in his face that if you don't work, you can't pay to play the game, and therefore, you can't be in the game at all. Let alone enough to even think of being part of a relationship. <.<;

[Kailea]

Yeah I have to agree with Wilemina on this one, not so sound mean...but god, he is acting like a baby, not all us guys are like this -.- but many are, and I find it stupid, your friend understands....so should he, if not, then maybe he needs a time out.......

[Alya Mizar (Tsybil)]

Real Lilfe MUST come first.

Sounds like he is immature or a control freak.

Love is supposed to be fun. Love is supposed to feel good. Love is not susposed to hurt. Are you having fun? How long has it been since you had any fun with him? Does it feel good or are you hurt?

Can you tell me, is it my fault? And what should I do with him.

He's now very furious, he blocked all my contact ways and didn't get in to FFXI anymore...Should I quit being his girlfriend?

I think you knew the answer when you wrote this.

Dump him, dry your tears, go shopping.

[Tivia]

I have a big fight with my boyfriend (I'm not kidding!) yesterday, it all begins with that I can't play FFXI as much as I should be.

I have to go to work as an information-provider in a big saminar this Tuesday, and I have to cancel a meeting with him and another friend (a girl) scheduled on Monday since I have to prepare for the job for the seminar. (This seminar lasts 4 days) And ended up having a fight with him just because that the meeting has been postponed for too many times. (one from my final examination, another from I having to escort my papa at the airport before leaving, and finally from the seminar)

I tried and tried to make him understand that I really have to go, but he just went mad and yelled at me. I know it's my fault that I can't play the game and I can't even keep the promise about the meeting, but why have it ended up with a fight!?

My friend understands that I really have to go, but my boyfriend didn't.

Can you tell me, is it my fault? And what should I do with him.

He's now very furious, he blocked all my contact ways and didn't get in to FFXI anymore...Should I quit being his girlfriend? No matter how I explain or apologize, he doesn't seem to rid of his mad state.

No, get rid of him. jerks like him are a dime a dozen and it is unlikely he will ever change.

[Sylphine]

Thanks a lot for all your advice, he finally understand. (after yelling at me for around 1 hr yesterday)

Yea...he need quite sometime to understand, but he never yell at me if it's not a serious matter.

I wonder...is playing games that serous???

[Shirai]

I wonder...is playing games that serous???

For some it is, or has become....

Just remember that there's nothing wrong with taking real life over any game.
I'm just wondering, is he your boyfriend in real life or just in game?

[Kahvi]

Indeed....we're not all idiots you know.

okay.. most men are idiots, like the ones in government offices, the ones that think they are "all that", and the ones that mindlessly follow someone elses example rather than blazing their own self image to break from what society says they are supposed to be.

that clear things up?

[Sylphine]

I'm just wondering, is he your boyfriend in real life or just in game?

Both in the game and real life... XD

Sometimes I think the game is serious too...but this time it was just...I can't play it much.

[Tivia]

Indeed....we're not all idiots you know.

okay.. most men are idiots, like the ones in government offices, the ones that think they are "all that", and the ones that mindlessly follow someone elses example rather than blazing their own self image to break from what society says they are supposed to be.

that clear things up?

While it suited the topic, the reality is most "People" are idiots. It is not sex or gender specific.

[Alya Mizar (Tsybil)]

Indeed....we're not all idiots you know.

okay.. most men are idiots,.....

While it suited the topic, the reality is most "People" are idiots. It is not sex or gender specific.

Way too true. Beat me to it again.

[Yukira]

Now that I agree.

[Sylphine]

Geez..........A big fight again a few hours ago...

This time his revenge may cause my character to lost...(he knows my id and password)

This time it started to turn out that he'll dump me (but he didn't at that time), I guess this time I'll have to prepare a lot of papers for my tears...

[Alya Mizar (Tsybil)]

First thing, CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD.

How to tell if you are involved with a controling b/f (or g/f for that mater.)

1, You are often off balance or confused.

2, Everything is always your fault. He is always right, you are always wrong.

3, You are the one who must do whatever is necessary to heal things up, never him. This is just and fair because of #2.

4, When you are together and things are OK, whatever you do is all about him, never about you.

5, You have fewer of your old friends all the time, his friends become yours. They always agree with him.

1/5 is acceptable, 4/5 is a signal to RUN.

[Blackroses]

OKAY. KNOW THAT HE KNOWS YOUR PASSWORD, IT IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM!!!

Call a GM immediately, or contact Playonline. Change your password and do whatever it takes to gain control of your account again. And secondly any guy that tries to control you to the point where he tries to take something that belongs to you, mean he is a grade A a**hole. It ppl like that, that i would love to meet in person. So i could shove my M16 service rifle up his A** and take a picture to show to the world. But since I cant (fume) the best you could do i break up with him and move on.

And secondly. Most men are idiots? Nah. I dont think ppl in general are idiots either. It just how the society effects each and every different person. But if we are going into the whole men are idiots scenario, then fine. Cause women can be just ...pure...friggin...evil (dont try to hide it, you know its true)

[Kahvi]

ya.. but when I'm pure dag nasty evil, its fun for the whole family. I could charge tickets for the show.

[Blackroses]

lmao

[Alya Mizar (Tsybil)]

I dont think ppl in general are idiots either.

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time" - Abraham Lincon.

"You can fool enough of the people enough of the time" - Ronald Regan.

Its way easier to fool idiots.

Idiot BTW is one of the oldest words in the English language. It comes to us almost entirely unchanged from Clasic Greek of 600 - 400 BC. It had all of today's conotations, but the literal meaning was non voter.

[Sylphine]

I'm sorry to dig up my quite old thread, but telling the truth...I just want to say it out, so I won't have to keep it inside and suffer more and more day by day.

My boyfriend and I have a fight again because the NM which dropped the Ochiudo Kote (5M on Titan server) popped on my side and was stolen by a gilseller...

This time I know it's somewhat my fault that I didn't stand on the place he will spawn (he popped right behind me), in fact...the place he spawn was the pos my boyfriend told me to stand there.

I don't want to believe that he'll dump me this way...but it's likely that he will. Yes...just because of the NM we camped for 5 hrs was stolen 5 times in a row. (4 times was the side he camped himself, the last one was mine)

(What he does? He yelled at me again and again, he never listen to my words that I tried to explain why he slipped away from my paws. Anyway, for him "This is unforgivable".)

I planned to make him dump me so many times but he never dump me, geez...I don't know how much longer I can hold before I will kill myself because of what he does to me. (After all what he said was "It was you who made me became a prick like this!!")

I don't know what to do anymore...I alt+tab and turn my mobile phone off to escape from him. Telling the truth, I loved him too much to dump him by myself, but I can't stand him yelling at me like I never know what is the right thing to do.

You don't have to post a reply for this, it's just my selfishness to use the board to post in a post like this, so...nevermind.

[Kailea]

I'm sorry to dig up my quite old thread, but telling the truth...I just want to say it out, so I won't have to keep it inside and suffer more and more day by day.

My boyfriend and I have a fight again because the NM which dropped the Ochiudo Kote (5M on Titan server) popped on my side and was stolen by a gilseller...

This time I know it's somewhat my fault that I didn't stand on the place he will spawn (he popped right behind me), in fact...the place he spawn was the pos my boyfriend told me to stand there.

I don't want to believe that he'll dump me this way...but it's likely that he will. Yes...just because of the NM we camped for 5 hrs was stolen 5 times in a row. (4 times was the side he camped himself, the last one was mine)

(What he does? He yelled at me again and again, he never listen to my words that I tried to explain why he slipped away from my paws. Anyway, for him "This is unforgivable".)

I planned to make him dump me so many times but he never dump me, geez...I don't know how much longer I can hold before I will kill myself because of what he does to me. (After all what he said was "It was you who made me became a prick like this!!")

I don't know what to do anymore...I alt+tab and turn my mobile phone off to escape from him. Telling the truth, I loved him too much to dump him by myself, but I can't stand him yelling at me like I never know what is the right thing to do.

You don't have to post a reply for this, it's just my selfishness to use the board to post in a post like this, so...nevermind.

no no I am sorry but I have to reply.....I will come right out and say it myself.... your boyfriend is a complet DICK.......no one should ever get mad at a thing like that ITS A GAME, if he yellls at you and brings you to tears over something stupid like this....dump him, I understand that you have a hard time doing it, but if you dont he will keep useing you and yelling at you, none of this is your fault, me and my friends loose NMs all the time, and we dont yell at each other -.- to be honest if I could I would fly over there and beat the crap out of him myself (well I would at least try) a man that acts like that is no real man and should never have a girlfriend like you, and he gives all other guys like me and some others a bad rep -.- a guy like that is not worth crying for, dont let him tear you down
if he is going to yell at you and talk down to you and make you cry, just because you did not claim an NM...then he is not worth it

I am always tired of hearing that a guy who is a complet ass has a girl friend and guys like me who would treat a girl like a god, have noone -.- dump him and be free ^.^ feel free to PM if you still want to let it out, had a friend I let do that with me :p it helps to do it sometimes

[Minagi]

Yeah dump him.

Tell him to date Mee Deggi instead, maybe he'll get his precious Kote that way.

[Blackroses]

Dump him? Hell you should bomb his car, Egg his house, TP his door shut, throw Salt on his flowers so they will never grow again and then kick his ass. (well not the kick his ass part. More of a guy to guy thing) But you should hire Chuck Norris to kick his ass.

Kailea you have a point. Ive noticed it as well. Guys that treat women like a ass, yelling at them, just complete disrespect are the ones who are getting all the girls... Heck Ive given up completely on dating. I dont care if I live alone anymore. As long as I have fun in my life im happy. I mean come on. I listen to ppl talk these days talking about, Oh i need to go home and slap my b*tch. And im like, If I ever called a girl that for any reason, Id beg for her to kick my ass Jet Lee beat down style.

[Sylphine]

Thank you for all your words...

About Kailea's point...It's true in some way that a guy who treat a girl well usually have no one. But not usually that a guy who treat a girl in a completely BAD way will get the girl.

At least...as long as they treat them badly like that, soon a girl who can't stand him will eventually dump him.

[Sugami]

Nice guys finish last, I know this all too well

Trying to get him to dump you is cowardly. If he's gonna do it then beat him to the punch and dump him yourself, he sounds like the type to take it as a blow to his "image" or whatever.

Old quote...

How to tell if you are involved with a controling b/f (or g/f for that mater.)

1, You are often off balance or confused.

2, Everything is always your fault. He is always right, you are always wrong.

3, You are the one who must do whatever is necessary to heal things up, never him. This is just and fair because of #2.

4, When you are together and things are OK, whatever you do is all about him, never about you.

5, You have fewer of your old friends all the time, his friends become yours. They always agree with him.

Sounds to me like all the characteristics of women especially 1-3.
Remember the two rules of women;

1) a woman is always right
2) if the woman is wrong refer to rule #1

[Alya Mizar (Tsybil)]

Guys that treat women like a ass, yelling at them, just complete disrespect are the ones who are getting all the girls.

Not quite right. The guys who keep women off balance and confused get to keep those women even if they "treat women like a ass, yelling at them, just complete disrespect" them..... It works for women who abuse their men too.

Its like this. Too many humans do not understand the difference between being in love and being off balance and confused. I AM NOT JOKING.

Standard abuser behaviour, wether the abuse is physical, emotional, or verbal. First the abuse, then the apology, then the abject sorrow and begging for forgivness. First you must feel fear and pain, then you must feel love and forgivness. Confused? That is the whole idea. The victim has to forgive the abuser. All part of the pattern. Why it works I don't know. But having spent a fairly long life observing humanity, I can say it does work. Far too well. Far too often.

Pavlov sounded a high picthed tone and gave his dogs an electric shock. He sounded a low piched tone and fed them. Once conditioned the dogs would cower at the high picthed tone, and salavate at the low piched tone. Then he slowly brought the tones closer and closer together. Eventually the dogs went crazy. They never turned on him though.

Sylphine, don't just dump him and walk away, dump him and RUN sprinkling gassoline on every bridge you cross and burrning them to the ground behind you. There is no honor in being the dumpee rather than the dumper. There are no points to score for putting up with this behaviour. The longer you stay with him the more you loose.

[Yukira]

Sometimes I really wish I could just say one day 'No more mr. nice guy.' and change just like that. But I guess in the end i don't want to...if I'm not good enough as I am then to hell with everyone.

Meh...I always get so depressed when talking about these things...