Karou Ariyen's Log
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:32 pm
Where did it all start. Everyone asks me that. Why am I here? Why did I leave my home? Did I miss my family? I don't know. As I sit here, watching the rain fall down on the docks of Limsa, I wonder where it all went wrong. What was I running from. And what happened on that boat? So much that went wrong for me. I guess It's time to put things into perspective. Let's begin, 16 years ago, in Gridania. Under a full moon, a second life came into the world upon my father. But not without heartache. I've been told that my mother passed away shortly after, leaving my father to raise myself and my older sister, Kariya. Life in Gridania was fine, I guess. Forests, water, fresh fish. So much to explore and do. Most of my childhood was spent picking fights with other boys. Completely opposite of Kariya. Kariya.... I've been asked about my older sister. Do we talk? No. Not anymore. I never liked her. She was a bitch to me. Apparently I've always been blamed for being daddy's favorite. I think it has more to do with the fact that I have no problems putting in a hard day's work. You see daddy ran a successful woodworking business. Kariya had no desire for that. I did. Since I was 7 I had a saw in my hands. I wasn't the best. Far from it. But at least I put effort into it. Still, daddy respected me for giving it my best. For the most, yes, life was good. And the fishing... how many nights did I come home covered in mud like a fish. But there was always food on the table. I miss many of my favorite fishing spots to be honest.
You see what was weird was I had a great life, protected to a point. Daddy taught me self defense with the axe that I used to fell trees for the business. I had good friends, a roof over my head and never a care in the world. Then we enter Kariya. You see Kariya was the family favorite for the first 2 years of her life. Then I came along. At first things were fine, or so I've been told. I don't remember much before age 4. But I was always hanging out the workshop, getting either into trouble or watching daddy intricatly. Kariya was jealous because she wasn't a tomboy. Far from it, and being a botonist, she was a mark of a woman. She knew what she wanted, the fancy clothes, the nights out. Whatever. She wanted to come home smelling like roses. If I didn't come home covered in fish and mud and sawdust, I wasn't happy. But maybe that's what sparked the jealousy, As I mentioned before, daddy let me become his favorite girl because when he needed help, it was always me. I wasn't afraid to get dirty. Like the time when I was 9. After a major wood planking operation, I had about 3 layers of sawdust on me... Hard to be mad when you sneeze and it falls off all cute like. Daddy thought it was adorbale, Kariya thought I was dumb. My sister and I don't get along, the malice between us may be a front, but it's a deep layer of hatred. But that goes both ways I guess. And mostly because I couldn't stop pulling pranks on her that made her unclean. In reality, I was poking the gobbue. I should know better.
Daddy was well educated, teaching the both of us, and like most miqo'te's I tended to skip out chasing after boys. I don't blame the lack of an education for how I turned out. Hell, I was raised very well, I speak proper, I write proper with the occassional spelling error. Woodworking is a mathematical game, something that requires numbers and that's where I'm good at. Down the finest measurement, I can make something work, well to the best of my abilities. Practice always makes perfect. I just don't practice enough. But again, some say that I got all of daddy's genetics. Kariya definetly takes after mom. But my daddy is one of Gridania's finest woodworkers. Many Guildleve contracts come in with his name on it. It's where I began to practice working on my craft. Perfecting it. And with the right guidance began to understand the deeper meaning inside wood. It's a living thing and we have to treat it right or the product becomes garbage. My families home has a lot of my fingerprints on the wood and stone we used to repair it. But I have a weakness that didn't come from anyone in my family.
How I went from picking fights with them to being with them, is unknown even to me. I chased after this one boy. He was a bad egg, but I was easily swayed by his looks. The trouble we got into. It's unbelievable. Suddenly this "good" and I use that word loosely, girl was involved in theft, robbery, and anything else you could Imagine. I didn't want to. But I was an idiot. They say you learn from your mistakes, I never did. It happened so fast. But he did things to me that when I was younger would have turned me off, but now... they felt good. I was in love, but maybe that's what my brain told me or my heart. Because I didn't know what kind of past this boy had, and I ignored anyone who had dated him before when they told me to watch out. Because when I turned 15, a job went wrong, and he sold me out to save his own hide. Don't ask me how I'm still alive, because my heart wasn't the only thing broken that day, so was my spirit. Daddy could only try and love me like a father should, but he was pretty pissed even if he didn't show it. I spent the next year in complete silence, working in the shop and being under close eye. Didn't matter, someone who I loved, only used me and sold me out when it suited his needs. I didn't want to go anywhere but my room. I kept to myself, with the occassional argument between siblings. But when I turned 16, earlier this year, the axe fell.
Kariya pushed me too far. See I had planned to go visit that rat bastard miqo'te I had fallen in love with. He was out in Limsa, I wanted to pay him back for the crap he dealt me. Kariya, with all intensions of being the good girl, raided my journal and sold my plans out to daddy. You've never seen him like that. It was like all oblivion broke loose and the world was ending in fire and brimstone. And after the aftermath.... in a flood of tears, I left. I grabbed my clothes, what little gear I had and my saw and left. Where was I going. I didn't have money or anything else to escape with. But I ran. All the way to a coast. I don't remember where. The nights were longer that night. The weather was pure downfall of rain. Cold rain. Most of the journey was spent on foot with the occassional cart ride I could Talk myself into. Finally after a few days I made it to a seaport. But my troubles were only beginning.
I had no gil. I was broke. I had my clothes, my saw, my hammer and nothing more. I looked around for a cargo boat I could ride. And after asking around I found a few ships headed for Limsa Lominsa. I was so close to extracting revenge. I smuggled myself onto the first ship I came across that matched the Limsa list.... Big mistake when you end up sneaking onto a pirate ship. But I didn't realize it. As I was sneaking around the cargo bay to get hidden, I tripped and landed face first on the ground... In front of a rapier. Getting caught was one thing. Being offered the only chance to explain myself.... I chose to charge the pirate captain and in less time than it takes the wind to blow, I remember being on my back, blood running down my face. But I got up and charged him again, only to end up in a wrist lock with a blade at my throat. What was I doing? Had I lost it completely? I'm unarmed attacking a band of pirates. Why didn't I just stay at home, I wondered to myself many times. But I expected it all to end. All I could think of was my family, broken, but I missed them. I waited for the execution, my eyes closed tightly, tears running down my cheeks, mixing with the bloody cuts. But it never came. A hand was held out to me.... and this time I took it.
Anyone who could withstand a beating like that and still have the energy to fight... Courageous or was I just stupid? I was taken to an inn where the pirate captain took care of my wounds. He said he wanted to know one thing. Why was I even sneaking onboard a ship. I had to come clean. I had my life spared and I had to repay that. I explained everything, my desire to escape my family, to seek revenge on someone who broke my heart long ago. After many hours of talking, I was offered a chance to disappear. I was set up with a boat headed for Limsa. Many people being smuggled onboard. I would become one of them. And it would start me not on a path for revenge, but a path to something that even now, I don't understand.
The boat ride was caught in a storm. A bad one, I remember sleeping one moment in the corner of the belly, clutching forged papers in my hand when I heard a voice in my head. I couldn't explain it but for some reason I walked up deck. The ground melted away. And before I knew it was knocked back hard by a wave. I couldn't stand the intense pain when another Miqo'te grabbed my hand. And began the assault did. Thousands of balloon Fish. And with out thinking I charged in, again, without thinking, and joined the combat. Finally. It was over, the fish subsided and then the sea monster struck. Bracing for impact as I looked up at the beast. Flying over the boat, the force of the impact knocked me out cold. I don't remember much except walking up on deck as we neared Limsa Lominsa.
That was a week ago. I walked into the wench after that fierce battle on the deck in a storm that only the Gods could create themselves. I became an adventurer. But I never stopped practicing with the skills my daddy taught me. And a new place to fish, the wonders of it. When you use an axe on a tree, you don't forget how to use that in combat. I've met many other friends here, but the voice I heard on the ferry still rings hard in my head. I don't understand it. But I do understand that Limsa Lominsa is my home now. I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps every morning, but at least I have a place to stay in the Mizzenmast Inn, and my gear has changed. I'm learning more and more how to survive on my own. But as I sit here, looking out at the rain falling on the docks, I can't help but think about home. About daddy, about Kariya, about Gridania. Some day, daddy, I'll come home, when the time feels right. But until then, please don't forget me. Because I haven't forgotten you.
You see what was weird was I had a great life, protected to a point. Daddy taught me self defense with the axe that I used to fell trees for the business. I had good friends, a roof over my head and never a care in the world. Then we enter Kariya. You see Kariya was the family favorite for the first 2 years of her life. Then I came along. At first things were fine, or so I've been told. I don't remember much before age 4. But I was always hanging out the workshop, getting either into trouble or watching daddy intricatly. Kariya was jealous because she wasn't a tomboy. Far from it, and being a botonist, she was a mark of a woman. She knew what she wanted, the fancy clothes, the nights out. Whatever. She wanted to come home smelling like roses. If I didn't come home covered in fish and mud and sawdust, I wasn't happy. But maybe that's what sparked the jealousy, As I mentioned before, daddy let me become his favorite girl because when he needed help, it was always me. I wasn't afraid to get dirty. Like the time when I was 9. After a major wood planking operation, I had about 3 layers of sawdust on me... Hard to be mad when you sneeze and it falls off all cute like. Daddy thought it was adorbale, Kariya thought I was dumb. My sister and I don't get along, the malice between us may be a front, but it's a deep layer of hatred. But that goes both ways I guess. And mostly because I couldn't stop pulling pranks on her that made her unclean. In reality, I was poking the gobbue. I should know better.
Daddy was well educated, teaching the both of us, and like most miqo'te's I tended to skip out chasing after boys. I don't blame the lack of an education for how I turned out. Hell, I was raised very well, I speak proper, I write proper with the occassional spelling error. Woodworking is a mathematical game, something that requires numbers and that's where I'm good at. Down the finest measurement, I can make something work, well to the best of my abilities. Practice always makes perfect. I just don't practice enough. But again, some say that I got all of daddy's genetics. Kariya definetly takes after mom. But my daddy is one of Gridania's finest woodworkers. Many Guildleve contracts come in with his name on it. It's where I began to practice working on my craft. Perfecting it. And with the right guidance began to understand the deeper meaning inside wood. It's a living thing and we have to treat it right or the product becomes garbage. My families home has a lot of my fingerprints on the wood and stone we used to repair it. But I have a weakness that didn't come from anyone in my family.
How I went from picking fights with them to being with them, is unknown even to me. I chased after this one boy. He was a bad egg, but I was easily swayed by his looks. The trouble we got into. It's unbelievable. Suddenly this "good" and I use that word loosely, girl was involved in theft, robbery, and anything else you could Imagine. I didn't want to. But I was an idiot. They say you learn from your mistakes, I never did. It happened so fast. But he did things to me that when I was younger would have turned me off, but now... they felt good. I was in love, but maybe that's what my brain told me or my heart. Because I didn't know what kind of past this boy had, and I ignored anyone who had dated him before when they told me to watch out. Because when I turned 15, a job went wrong, and he sold me out to save his own hide. Don't ask me how I'm still alive, because my heart wasn't the only thing broken that day, so was my spirit. Daddy could only try and love me like a father should, but he was pretty pissed even if he didn't show it. I spent the next year in complete silence, working in the shop and being under close eye. Didn't matter, someone who I loved, only used me and sold me out when it suited his needs. I didn't want to go anywhere but my room. I kept to myself, with the occassional argument between siblings. But when I turned 16, earlier this year, the axe fell.
Kariya pushed me too far. See I had planned to go visit that rat bastard miqo'te I had fallen in love with. He was out in Limsa, I wanted to pay him back for the crap he dealt me. Kariya, with all intensions of being the good girl, raided my journal and sold my plans out to daddy. You've never seen him like that. It was like all oblivion broke loose and the world was ending in fire and brimstone. And after the aftermath.... in a flood of tears, I left. I grabbed my clothes, what little gear I had and my saw and left. Where was I going. I didn't have money or anything else to escape with. But I ran. All the way to a coast. I don't remember where. The nights were longer that night. The weather was pure downfall of rain. Cold rain. Most of the journey was spent on foot with the occassional cart ride I could Talk myself into. Finally after a few days I made it to a seaport. But my troubles were only beginning.
I had no gil. I was broke. I had my clothes, my saw, my hammer and nothing more. I looked around for a cargo boat I could ride. And after asking around I found a few ships headed for Limsa Lominsa. I was so close to extracting revenge. I smuggled myself onto the first ship I came across that matched the Limsa list.... Big mistake when you end up sneaking onto a pirate ship. But I didn't realize it. As I was sneaking around the cargo bay to get hidden, I tripped and landed face first on the ground... In front of a rapier. Getting caught was one thing. Being offered the only chance to explain myself.... I chose to charge the pirate captain and in less time than it takes the wind to blow, I remember being on my back, blood running down my face. But I got up and charged him again, only to end up in a wrist lock with a blade at my throat. What was I doing? Had I lost it completely? I'm unarmed attacking a band of pirates. Why didn't I just stay at home, I wondered to myself many times. But I expected it all to end. All I could think of was my family, broken, but I missed them. I waited for the execution, my eyes closed tightly, tears running down my cheeks, mixing with the bloody cuts. But it never came. A hand was held out to me.... and this time I took it.
Anyone who could withstand a beating like that and still have the energy to fight... Courageous or was I just stupid? I was taken to an inn where the pirate captain took care of my wounds. He said he wanted to know one thing. Why was I even sneaking onboard a ship. I had to come clean. I had my life spared and I had to repay that. I explained everything, my desire to escape my family, to seek revenge on someone who broke my heart long ago. After many hours of talking, I was offered a chance to disappear. I was set up with a boat headed for Limsa. Many people being smuggled onboard. I would become one of them. And it would start me not on a path for revenge, but a path to something that even now, I don't understand.
The boat ride was caught in a storm. A bad one, I remember sleeping one moment in the corner of the belly, clutching forged papers in my hand when I heard a voice in my head. I couldn't explain it but for some reason I walked up deck. The ground melted away. And before I knew it was knocked back hard by a wave. I couldn't stand the intense pain when another Miqo'te grabbed my hand. And began the assault did. Thousands of balloon Fish. And with out thinking I charged in, again, without thinking, and joined the combat. Finally. It was over, the fish subsided and then the sea monster struck. Bracing for impact as I looked up at the beast. Flying over the boat, the force of the impact knocked me out cold. I don't remember much except walking up on deck as we neared Limsa Lominsa.
That was a week ago. I walked into the wench after that fierce battle on the deck in a storm that only the Gods could create themselves. I became an adventurer. But I never stopped practicing with the skills my daddy taught me. And a new place to fish, the wonders of it. When you use an axe on a tree, you don't forget how to use that in combat. I've met many other friends here, but the voice I heard on the ferry still rings hard in my head. I don't understand it. But I do understand that Limsa Lominsa is my home now. I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps every morning, but at least I have a place to stay in the Mizzenmast Inn, and my gear has changed. I'm learning more and more how to survive on my own. But as I sit here, looking out at the rain falling on the docks, I can't help but think about home. About daddy, about Kariya, about Gridania. Some day, daddy, I'll come home, when the time feels right. But until then, please don't forget me. Because I haven't forgotten you.