How to ask for help: An allakhazam repost
Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 7:25 am
Have you ever had to get something done and needed help to do it, but you just couldn't seem to get the help you so desperately sought?
Have you ever felt like your LS were a bunch of selfish n00bs because every time you asked for help, all you ever heard was crickets chirping?
Well, I'd like to offer some tips for success when things like Prime avatar battles, limit quests, AF quests etc. stand between you and ultimate victory. You may not like what I have to say, and that's fine. Just keep one thing in mind: if you're having difficulty arranging assistance for your grand master schemes of world domination, try something different.
Part One: Overview
FFXI was not developed for bed-wetters. It was originally developed in Japan, for a Japanese market that consisted of the 24-40 age demographic. For you young people out there, I'm not trying to be condescending, but I am pointing out a fact in a blunt fashion.
This game was not developed in such a way that REQUIRES lvl 75 help to complete quests at lvl 30. If you can find higher level help, or are silly enough to shell out 10-100k+ gil to get it, more power to you, but I'm here to tell you it's not necessary. If you can't get it done with a group around your level, you shouldn't be expecting to get it done yet. You want Rank 5 at level 30 so bad that you'll spend day after day in Jeuno shouting for help? Hey, go nuts...just remember that you have basically committed yourself to wasting a ton of time. Your time would have been much better used preparing yourself for exp groups and gaining some more levels.
Does this mean that if you have an opportunity to do some things at a "lower than ideal" level that you should turn them down? Of course not. Just try not to make it a priority.
Part Two: Reputation
Do you do stupid things? For example, do you quartermaster loot in BCNMs? Do you try to MPK people because they claimed the NM you were camping or because their party was in the same exp zone as yours?
Do you spam stupid emotes/shouts in Jeuno? Even worse, do you have stupid emotes in your combat macros? Do you beg for gil (either from random people or people in your LS)? Do you "borrow" gear or gil from people and then pretend they never gave it to you?
If you do any of these things, stop it. Now. Not only are you being an irritating player, you are earning a terrible reputation for yourself. People who know you, and people who know the people who know you, will eventually avoid you like the plague. They won't see "Random player X" shouting in Jeuno for help getting Papyrus for Limit 1, they'll see "That irritating, thiefing jackass" shouting in Jeuno for help.
What goes around comes around...remember that. It will serve you well in life, and in the game.
Part 3: Your LS and You
I can't tell you how many times I've had to counsel disheartened LS mates that they are expecting too much from their LS. Remember, almost everyone logs into the game with some idea in mind of what they would like to do with their playtime. They may have plans to find an exp group, or to take care of some quests/missions of their own.
Logging into the game and saying to your LS, "Hey guys! I want to do mission 5-2 tonight! Who wants to help me?" is not a good idea. Remember what you are asking for. Beyond Rank 4, pretty much every mission in the game requires at least a couple of hours from the time you have a group/alliance assembled to the time you expect to be done the mission. Hopeing to find people who are ready, willing, and able to commit several hours to help you on a moment's notice is not a wise expectation.
If you are hoping to get some help from your LS to accomplish a particular task, give them some advance notice...preferably at least 2 or 3 days. You'd be much better of saying, "Hey guys, it's Wednesday. I'm hoping to get Mission 5-2 done sometime this weekend. Are any of you going to be around this weekend that might want to help?"
If you try it from that aspect from time to time and you still hear crickets chirping, ask yourself a couple of questions:
1) How often to I ask for help? If you are always asking for help to get this, that or the other thing done, odds are your LS has "donor fatigue". They're tired of helping the same person over and over again. Other people in the LS likely want help as well. Don't be unfair to your LS by monopolizing their time.
2) How often do you contribute to your LS? It doesn't really matter what level you are or what level they are. If you are serious about being a welcome member in any group for any period of time, you have to find some way of your own to contribute. Saying, "I'm only xx level and they are all yy level so I can't help with anything" is sort of a weak way out. You don't have to be lvl 70 to take up a craft that can benefit members of your LS. You don't have to be Rank 10 to be one of the first people to offer to check the price of something on the AH if you're near one when somebody asks.
If you ask for LS help no more than once or twice/month, and consistantly find yourself making whatever contributions to the group you can and you STILL can't get them to agree to help you with something at a later date, find another LS. Odds are, the one you have has some issues that you aren't going to be able to remedy on your own.
Never try to force an issue. I was once in an LS with a lower level member who was always asking for one thing or another. I was new to the LS and he needed 3k gil to buy a new spell. I lent him the gil when he told me he'd pay me back that night. The next day rolled around and there was no gil in my in-box. I had to ask him for it and he sent it right away. (3k gil is less than 15 minutes worth of ammunition to me...it was the principle of the situation).
Later, he was asking for more gil. Actually, he was asking for someone to either lend him some gil or buy some spells for him. Good lord, that was annoying. The LS leader warned him that begging was not acceptable. He stopped...for a day. The next day he was right back at it. He even sent me a /tell directly, asking for me to go to Selbina and buy the spells for him, or at least lend him the gil. He was booted from the LS, and he proceeded to whine to me that the LS never did anything for him anyways.
Be honest with yourself in evaluating your contribution to any group. YOU may not thinking asking for free teleports or a few k gil here and there means much, but I can tell you first hand that your LS likely finds it irritating as hell. All you are doing by constantly nagging for little things is ensuring that when you have a legitimate need for assistance, everyone will be so sick of hearing you asking for stuff that they're going to tune you out simply out of habit.
Vana'diel at Large
So your LS is unwilling or unable to help you, or you just want to get something done and don't feel like planning an event for it. Shouting for help in Jeuno is often a good way to get help. As with most things, however, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about doing it.
WIIFM = What's In It For Me? Remember, shouting for help to random strangers means that they are going to be much more willing to help you if there is some benefit in the situation for them. This doesn't make them selfish people, it makes them human. If you can't find a way for them to benefit in the process of helping you, you're going to have a very tough time. (Keep in mind that offering to pay people for their help is a last resort, and is frowned upon by many people).
A great example of this is trying to get help for coffer key hunting. If you assemble a group of 6 or more people, all of them needing a coffer key, you're going to be hunting coffers for a very, very long time. You're better off finding some other way for people to benefit. Getting together a group of people for a skillup party is a much better means of not only attracting larger numbers of higher level people to assist you, but it means when that elusive coffer key drops, there are going to be fewer people competing for the highest lot.
This same thing can apply to such things as Genkai 1 items. Genkai 1 is probably the single most hated quest in the game. Finding people to help you out of the goodness of their heart is a shot in the dark at best. Nobody wants to re-visit the hell that is camping Liches unless there is some other way they can benefit.
Summary
The "me me me" attitude that is prevalent amongst many players of this game is totally counterproductive. It's certainly an aspect of our culture that we could do away with. "I want it, and I want it now" is an attitude that will only lead to frustration and disappointment.
If you've tried other avenues of seeking assistance and haven't had the results you would like, try some of the things I have suggested. Remember, it's a big game with a lot of people. If you know how to ask, pretty much anything you could ever want can be yours if you're prepared to take the necessary time to do it right.
Good luck ^^
Have you ever felt like your LS were a bunch of selfish n00bs because every time you asked for help, all you ever heard was crickets chirping?
Well, I'd like to offer some tips for success when things like Prime avatar battles, limit quests, AF quests etc. stand between you and ultimate victory. You may not like what I have to say, and that's fine. Just keep one thing in mind: if you're having difficulty arranging assistance for your grand master schemes of world domination, try something different.
Part One: Overview
FFXI was not developed for bed-wetters. It was originally developed in Japan, for a Japanese market that consisted of the 24-40 age demographic. For you young people out there, I'm not trying to be condescending, but I am pointing out a fact in a blunt fashion.
This game was not developed in such a way that REQUIRES lvl 75 help to complete quests at lvl 30. If you can find higher level help, or are silly enough to shell out 10-100k+ gil to get it, more power to you, but I'm here to tell you it's not necessary. If you can't get it done with a group around your level, you shouldn't be expecting to get it done yet. You want Rank 5 at level 30 so bad that you'll spend day after day in Jeuno shouting for help? Hey, go nuts...just remember that you have basically committed yourself to wasting a ton of time. Your time would have been much better used preparing yourself for exp groups and gaining some more levels.
Does this mean that if you have an opportunity to do some things at a "lower than ideal" level that you should turn them down? Of course not. Just try not to make it a priority.
Part Two: Reputation
Do you do stupid things? For example, do you quartermaster loot in BCNMs? Do you try to MPK people because they claimed the NM you were camping or because their party was in the same exp zone as yours?
Do you spam stupid emotes/shouts in Jeuno? Even worse, do you have stupid emotes in your combat macros? Do you beg for gil (either from random people or people in your LS)? Do you "borrow" gear or gil from people and then pretend they never gave it to you?
If you do any of these things, stop it. Now. Not only are you being an irritating player, you are earning a terrible reputation for yourself. People who know you, and people who know the people who know you, will eventually avoid you like the plague. They won't see "Random player X" shouting in Jeuno for help getting Papyrus for Limit 1, they'll see "That irritating, thiefing jackass" shouting in Jeuno for help.
What goes around comes around...remember that. It will serve you well in life, and in the game.
Part 3: Your LS and You
I can't tell you how many times I've had to counsel disheartened LS mates that they are expecting too much from their LS. Remember, almost everyone logs into the game with some idea in mind of what they would like to do with their playtime. They may have plans to find an exp group, or to take care of some quests/missions of their own.
Logging into the game and saying to your LS, "Hey guys! I want to do mission 5-2 tonight! Who wants to help me?" is not a good idea. Remember what you are asking for. Beyond Rank 4, pretty much every mission in the game requires at least a couple of hours from the time you have a group/alliance assembled to the time you expect to be done the mission. Hopeing to find people who are ready, willing, and able to commit several hours to help you on a moment's notice is not a wise expectation.
If you are hoping to get some help from your LS to accomplish a particular task, give them some advance notice...preferably at least 2 or 3 days. You'd be much better of saying, "Hey guys, it's Wednesday. I'm hoping to get Mission 5-2 done sometime this weekend. Are any of you going to be around this weekend that might want to help?"
If you try it from that aspect from time to time and you still hear crickets chirping, ask yourself a couple of questions:
1) How often to I ask for help? If you are always asking for help to get this, that or the other thing done, odds are your LS has "donor fatigue". They're tired of helping the same person over and over again. Other people in the LS likely want help as well. Don't be unfair to your LS by monopolizing their time.
2) How often do you contribute to your LS? It doesn't really matter what level you are or what level they are. If you are serious about being a welcome member in any group for any period of time, you have to find some way of your own to contribute. Saying, "I'm only xx level and they are all yy level so I can't help with anything" is sort of a weak way out. You don't have to be lvl 70 to take up a craft that can benefit members of your LS. You don't have to be Rank 10 to be one of the first people to offer to check the price of something on the AH if you're near one when somebody asks.
If you ask for LS help no more than once or twice/month, and consistantly find yourself making whatever contributions to the group you can and you STILL can't get them to agree to help you with something at a later date, find another LS. Odds are, the one you have has some issues that you aren't going to be able to remedy on your own.
Never try to force an issue. I was once in an LS with a lower level member who was always asking for one thing or another. I was new to the LS and he needed 3k gil to buy a new spell. I lent him the gil when he told me he'd pay me back that night. The next day rolled around and there was no gil in my in-box. I had to ask him for it and he sent it right away. (3k gil is less than 15 minutes worth of ammunition to me...it was the principle of the situation).
Later, he was asking for more gil. Actually, he was asking for someone to either lend him some gil or buy some spells for him. Good lord, that was annoying. The LS leader warned him that begging was not acceptable. He stopped...for a day. The next day he was right back at it. He even sent me a /tell directly, asking for me to go to Selbina and buy the spells for him, or at least lend him the gil. He was booted from the LS, and he proceeded to whine to me that the LS never did anything for him anyways.
Be honest with yourself in evaluating your contribution to any group. YOU may not thinking asking for free teleports or a few k gil here and there means much, but I can tell you first hand that your LS likely finds it irritating as hell. All you are doing by constantly nagging for little things is ensuring that when you have a legitimate need for assistance, everyone will be so sick of hearing you asking for stuff that they're going to tune you out simply out of habit.
Vana'diel at Large
So your LS is unwilling or unable to help you, or you just want to get something done and don't feel like planning an event for it. Shouting for help in Jeuno is often a good way to get help. As with most things, however, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about doing it.
WIIFM = What's In It For Me? Remember, shouting for help to random strangers means that they are going to be much more willing to help you if there is some benefit in the situation for them. This doesn't make them selfish people, it makes them human. If you can't find a way for them to benefit in the process of helping you, you're going to have a very tough time. (Keep in mind that offering to pay people for their help is a last resort, and is frowned upon by many people).
A great example of this is trying to get help for coffer key hunting. If you assemble a group of 6 or more people, all of them needing a coffer key, you're going to be hunting coffers for a very, very long time. You're better off finding some other way for people to benefit. Getting together a group of people for a skillup party is a much better means of not only attracting larger numbers of higher level people to assist you, but it means when that elusive coffer key drops, there are going to be fewer people competing for the highest lot.
This same thing can apply to such things as Genkai 1 items. Genkai 1 is probably the single most hated quest in the game. Finding people to help you out of the goodness of their heart is a shot in the dark at best. Nobody wants to re-visit the hell that is camping Liches unless there is some other way they can benefit.
Summary
The "me me me" attitude that is prevalent amongst many players of this game is totally counterproductive. It's certainly an aspect of our culture that we could do away with. "I want it, and I want it now" is an attitude that will only lead to frustration and disappointment.
If you've tried other avenues of seeking assistance and haven't had the results you would like, try some of the things I have suggested. Remember, it's a big game with a lot of people. If you know how to ask, pretty much anything you could ever want can be yours if you're prepared to take the necessary time to do it right.
Good luck ^^
seriously, where do these guys get this garbage? Seems worse than 
LOL hug
That just seemed so impersonal. But with FFXI, even though you may be playing messenger to a housewife, you are actually truly doing someone a favor and not just going on some "menial duty". You get the worry from the wife and the husband's annoyance at being worried about when he gets your message and then the wife's relief when you report back. Very human and much more rewarding.