My brother likes to pull as Monk with no ranged attack at all. He always begs his parties to let him pull, and many of them say someone with a ranged attack should pull, but sometimes he gets to. He's actually a pretty good puller; he says someone once asked him if he played RNG, because apparently he pulled well. Even though he hasn't even unlocked it. I've also been leveling a low-level WAR in the dunes recently, and I've often had to both tank and pull, too. Even when I party with my brother's MNK. When I started, I was terrible at skillchaining. Now I'm...well, not terrible! I can usually get the skillchain right. Sort of.
About the RDM who was too busy meleeing to heal, as Susannah put it: Do you mean you were upset that he was meleeing, or that meleeing was getting in the way of doing other things? I do hope it is not the former. I'm sorry, but I find that a little insulting, and I think you should know that it can be helpful. I am a RDM who melees. I do damage on par with our PLD. No, I don't count it during the battle, or use a parser. I have other things to pay attention to during the fight. I check it against my brother, who's a PLD around my level. And he doesn't exactly stink. He just got a new sword, for one thing.
I once partied with a MNK who yelled at me for meleeing and not healing. I told him to please not assume that just because I melee, I'm one of those people for whom meleeing gets in the way of other things. I was casting Cures, if that's what he meant. Or perhaps he meant resting. There was no reason to rest. My MP was fine. He said I was a "bad rdm" and left the party. None of the party supported his thinking. I have meleed in almost every party (except that one RDM/BRD/NIN party), and he was the first to object. I am going to continue to do so. A RDM whose skills are capped can actually do pretty good damage. I keep both my sword and dagger skills capped at every level. Guess how I cap all those skills?
Now that I think about it, you probably meant that his meleeing was getting in the way of doing other things. Sorry for the rant, but I felt like some people here were deterring RDMs from meleeing, and I felt the other side of the story needed a voice. If you did get one of those people who can't do other things while meleeing, I feel sorry for you and for him. I mean, is meleeing hard? You just stand there on auto-attack. If doing something else at the same time is too much for him, he was indeed an idiot. This is also evidenced by the fact that he blacklisted you. I never blacklisted Mr. "RDMs should only heal" (which is what our party called that MNK) even though it seems like he was a bit more forceful about his opinion than you were.
As I heard it, you were just giving advice. That MNK was refusing to party with people whose play styles differed. The RDM you mentioned sounds like he overreacted. I agree that it is good when people at least try to learn, instead of blacklisting people who disagree with their play style. I meet many people who disagree with mine. Do I blacklist all of them? No, that's just silly. I explain to them why I believe what I do, and since most of them don't have much of an argument, but are hard to convince, we just agree to disagree. I support diverse opinions. Ok, I think I better stop talking now or I'll go on forever. ^^;
B/c God knows there are alot of them out there
nice one 
Who knew slackers could work so hard? D:
