A humble explanation
Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:34 pm
I was debating whether or not I should come back. Now that Yugi seems to be gone, and his former supporters have turned against him, I suppose I have some explaining to do, at least.
I understand why the admins decided to remove my "damning" post about Yugi (and I have to be careful about what I say or I risk having this post removed as well). We could not build a strong community if we allowed posts that were designed to utterly shred particular individuals. I still don't think I could have tried to stop Yugi, as a troll, any other way with the same effectiveness, and I was willing to risk being banned for what I had to say.
The reason I left the boards was because by the admins erasing all trace of what transpired with Yugi, we gave Yugi exactly what he wanted: no evidence of his antics. He could create any illusion he wanted of himself and there'd be no posts in the past to contradict him.
For some reason, though, he still wanted my endorsement. In the personal messages he sent me, he basically wanted me to say to all of you that he was really a girl, and that he only said he was a guy because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. What I really wanted was a sincere apology from him, first, to any sexual abuse victims he may have offended with his posts, and second to those he tried to shame by pretending to be a sexual abuse victim. He sent me a personal message in reply, not a public post, to say he was sorry, re-iterating his desire for me to acknowledge he was a girl. It just seemed to me all he was interested in was getting his illusion back and he wasn't sincere at all.
So my leaving wasn't just a warning to all of you, but it was also to infuriate Yugi.
And it appears to have worked.
I didn't see the actual post, but from what I could tell from the context, he made up a story about his sister dying after being raped shortly after I left (he's got some weird fascination with rape and death...). He could have just played it cool, and not said anything at my departure, but he was so upset at me, he couldn't help but resort to his favorite death and rape cards... supposedly to make me feel bad for doubting him.
After that outburst in which he cried wolf yet again, it was ironic to see even his most adamant supporters turn against him. Even I never swore at Yugi...
viewtopic.php?t=3188
Now that it's all said and done, I want to apologize for the disruption I've caused. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into when I said what I had in the beginning. There have been many of you who offered support and I thank you for it. But there are those who have stood against me, and I don't know if I'll ever be accepted back here completely because of it.
If I've learned anything, it's that sticking up for what you believe in can be hard in the forum of public debate. No matter how convincing you try to be, there will always be those who oppose you, even if you're trying to act in their best interest. Maybe I wouldn't have been so battered if I tried to be more understanding of why people were against me, and it's a failing of mine that I couldn't understand their concerns or alleviate their fears.
I certainly don't want to seem holier-than-thou, either. In order to convince people, you have to seem sure of yourself... but deep down, I was lost and confused most of the time. It was painful to go through that controversy, even though this is just a humble message board. I put a lot of heart and soul into my message, and it pained me to resort to giving pain in order to get to the truth of matter... again, even though this is just a humble message board.
I'd like to go back to the way things were, and put that troll behind us.
I'm no troll hunter. Even Batsu is welcome to stay under my bridge because at least he's honest in his anti-ingratiation (for lack of a better word... if that's even a word
).
I understand why the admins decided to remove my "damning" post about Yugi (and I have to be careful about what I say or I risk having this post removed as well). We could not build a strong community if we allowed posts that were designed to utterly shred particular individuals. I still don't think I could have tried to stop Yugi, as a troll, any other way with the same effectiveness, and I was willing to risk being banned for what I had to say.
The reason I left the boards was because by the admins erasing all trace of what transpired with Yugi, we gave Yugi exactly what he wanted: no evidence of his antics. He could create any illusion he wanted of himself and there'd be no posts in the past to contradict him.
For some reason, though, he still wanted my endorsement. In the personal messages he sent me, he basically wanted me to say to all of you that he was really a girl, and that he only said he was a guy because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. What I really wanted was a sincere apology from him, first, to any sexual abuse victims he may have offended with his posts, and second to those he tried to shame by pretending to be a sexual abuse victim. He sent me a personal message in reply, not a public post, to say he was sorry, re-iterating his desire for me to acknowledge he was a girl. It just seemed to me all he was interested in was getting his illusion back and he wasn't sincere at all.
So my leaving wasn't just a warning to all of you, but it was also to infuriate Yugi.
And it appears to have worked.
I didn't see the actual post, but from what I could tell from the context, he made up a story about his sister dying after being raped shortly after I left (he's got some weird fascination with rape and death...). He could have just played it cool, and not said anything at my departure, but he was so upset at me, he couldn't help but resort to his favorite death and rape cards... supposedly to make me feel bad for doubting him.
After that outburst in which he cried wolf yet again, it was ironic to see even his most adamant supporters turn against him. Even I never swore at Yugi...
viewtopic.php?t=3188
Now that it's all said and done, I want to apologize for the disruption I've caused. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into when I said what I had in the beginning. There have been many of you who offered support and I thank you for it. But there are those who have stood against me, and I don't know if I'll ever be accepted back here completely because of it.
If I've learned anything, it's that sticking up for what you believe in can be hard in the forum of public debate. No matter how convincing you try to be, there will always be those who oppose you, even if you're trying to act in their best interest. Maybe I wouldn't have been so battered if I tried to be more understanding of why people were against me, and it's a failing of mine that I couldn't understand their concerns or alleviate their fears.
I certainly don't want to seem holier-than-thou, either. In order to convince people, you have to seem sure of yourself... but deep down, I was lost and confused most of the time. It was painful to go through that controversy, even though this is just a humble message board. I put a lot of heart and soul into my message, and it pained me to resort to giving pain in order to get to the truth of matter... again, even though this is just a humble message board.
I'd like to go back to the way things were, and put that troll behind us.
I'm no troll hunter. Even Batsu is welcome to stay under my bridge because at least he's honest in his anti-ingratiation (for lack of a better word... if that's even a word
).
I have a decent copy of it. While ET was a bad a game I like playing it cause it would annoy my mom when i would just hit button over and over making ET make that stupid noise. 
NIEN GUTENTAG VEINERSCHNITZAL! 
er... hehe