What a RL date with a Mithra would be like...
Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 3:05 am
Date with a Mithra (a repost from alakzam by Akaluk)
I thought it was funny how everyone keeps hitting on mithras, so i tried to figure out what a date with one would be like... If you're obsessed with mithras and don't want your dreams crushed; do not read.
The following depicts 6 hours in the company of a mithra, including candlelight dinner, romantic movie, and a late night stroll.
17:00
Arrival at designated meeting point. Date approaches car and gets in. You share a quick greeting and start the engine.
17:02
Your date seems slightly uncomfortable sitting normally, and instead keeps shuffling about in her seat. To your advantage, she positions herself in several suggestive positions.
17:03
You try to focus on the road ahead of you, as your date scratches off your seat coverings, in order to sharpen her nails.
17:21
Having gathered your thoughts after your car was sabotaged, you and your date arrive at the restaurant.
17:26
Your date happily orders a low-cost seafood dish, and while doing so, eagerly explains how she wants it prepared to the waiter. Several other males appear jealous.
17:41
Your dishes arrive, but you are unable to eat. The sight of your date gnawing viciously at a still living fish somehow affects your appetite. Male looks have switched to sympathetic.
18:03
Your date's appetite fulfilled, you head for the movies. You offer her a box of breath freshener, only to discover that one box wont do.
18:30
Movie begins. Cinema is barely empty; you and your date are place at the top/centre.
19:22
Peak romantic moment imminent; you attempt to sneak a hand around your date. She immediately grabs it, and tugs herself in.
19:25
Once again, you are reminded of your date's claws, courtesy of a burning sensation in your hand, growing in intensity as the romantic moment nears it's peak.
19:28
You scream loudly as the characters exchange a quick kiss, much to the surprise of everyone in the cinema. Your date seems scared of you for the remainder of the movie.
21:12
Leaving the cinema, you and your date depart on a romantic moonlight stroll.
21:33
By accident, you run into a friend of yours, also with a mithran companion. You exchange friendly greetings and shake hands with your friend, then turn to introduce your date.
21:34
You desperately try to yank your date away from the other mithra, currently engaged in a feral fight for survival. By accident, you yank her tail, resulting in a kick to the chin and a broken jaw.
21:46
You arrive at a local doctor; the two mithrans happily chatting like long time friends.
21:57
Now wearing a huge jaw-protecting helmet, you start walking your date home. In a desperate attempt to cheer you up, she tried to decorate the metal wires with feathers from a dead bird, while explaining that it looks like a piece of hair ornament from Kazham.
22:12
A pair of drunk brutes approach you, apparently looking for a fight. They grab your date, and throw you into a dumpster, laughing.
22:14
Your date rescues you from the dumpster, single handedly having torn the brutes to pieces. She carries you to her house.
22:31
Bruised and battered, you take your leave as your date unlocks her door.
22:33
While staggering down the road outside her house, your date catches up to you, give you a savage frenching, then runs back into her house.
22:34
Whistling, slightly off-key due to the helmet, you depart from her residence. On the way out, you toss a piece of fish bone caught between your teeth into the trash can.
I thought it was funny how everyone keeps hitting on mithras, so i tried to figure out what a date with one would be like... If you're obsessed with mithras and don't want your dreams crushed; do not read.
The following depicts 6 hours in the company of a mithra, including candlelight dinner, romantic movie, and a late night stroll.
17:00
Arrival at designated meeting point. Date approaches car and gets in. You share a quick greeting and start the engine.
17:02
Your date seems slightly uncomfortable sitting normally, and instead keeps shuffling about in her seat. To your advantage, she positions herself in several suggestive positions.
17:03
You try to focus on the road ahead of you, as your date scratches off your seat coverings, in order to sharpen her nails.
17:21
Having gathered your thoughts after your car was sabotaged, you and your date arrive at the restaurant.
17:26
Your date happily orders a low-cost seafood dish, and while doing so, eagerly explains how she wants it prepared to the waiter. Several other males appear jealous.
17:41
Your dishes arrive, but you are unable to eat. The sight of your date gnawing viciously at a still living fish somehow affects your appetite. Male looks have switched to sympathetic.
18:03
Your date's appetite fulfilled, you head for the movies. You offer her a box of breath freshener, only to discover that one box wont do.
18:30
Movie begins. Cinema is barely empty; you and your date are place at the top/centre.
19:22
Peak romantic moment imminent; you attempt to sneak a hand around your date. She immediately grabs it, and tugs herself in.
19:25
Once again, you are reminded of your date's claws, courtesy of a burning sensation in your hand, growing in intensity as the romantic moment nears it's peak.
19:28
You scream loudly as the characters exchange a quick kiss, much to the surprise of everyone in the cinema. Your date seems scared of you for the remainder of the movie.
21:12
Leaving the cinema, you and your date depart on a romantic moonlight stroll.
21:33
By accident, you run into a friend of yours, also with a mithran companion. You exchange friendly greetings and shake hands with your friend, then turn to introduce your date.
21:34
You desperately try to yank your date away from the other mithra, currently engaged in a feral fight for survival. By accident, you yank her tail, resulting in a kick to the chin and a broken jaw.
21:46
You arrive at a local doctor; the two mithrans happily chatting like long time friends.
21:57
Now wearing a huge jaw-protecting helmet, you start walking your date home. In a desperate attempt to cheer you up, she tried to decorate the metal wires with feathers from a dead bird, while explaining that it looks like a piece of hair ornament from Kazham.
22:12
A pair of drunk brutes approach you, apparently looking for a fight. They grab your date, and throw you into a dumpster, laughing.
22:14
Your date rescues you from the dumpster, single handedly having torn the brutes to pieces. She carries you to her house.
22:31
Bruised and battered, you take your leave as your date unlocks her door.
22:33
While staggering down the road outside her house, your date catches up to you, give you a savage frenching, then runs back into her house.
22:34
Whistling, slightly off-key due to the helmet, you depart from her residence. On the way out, you toss a piece of fish bone caught between your teeth into the trash can.
Having my cat lick my arm and knowing their tongues are like sandpaper i dont think id enjoy it too much 
