First question is, how long were you disconnected?
That does suck and it does appear the guy was being a douche. That said, if you disconnecting requires you to restart. It might be time to either reinstall FFXI or reinstall windows to fix the issue.
My complaint with FFXI is that people in this game just tend to be really strange. I will randomly get pulled into parties who are "happy" they are pulling 4k/hr at 60+...I mean seriously if you wanted that kind of exp do it solo..good god. I am sorry but at level 70 if I am not pulling 10k/hr+ I am just gonna leave. I really hate to be a snob but at almost 40k per level, If i wanted to grind it slow, I would just go do pages somewhere to earn tabs for aug attempts.
