Well, on Sunday I came to a decision. I sat my ass down on the internet, and spent two hours browsing. I'd decided I wanted records. And lots of them. CDs, vinyl, even cassettes. Where did I look? Amazon? HMV? Any other reputable dealer?
No. I was browsing home-made pages run by 20-somethings who operate out of a basement, selling punk rock records (of various sub-genres, which I will not bother to list)... most of them recorded in someone's basement without any kind of budget to speak, and some without a record label backing them (even the kind run by a mate of a mate).
I ended up spending about £60 (just over $100 US) on records, including shipping (all from America). Even at the best of local independent music stores, this would get me 6 albums. Instead, I've purchased 9 albums, 3 EPs, and even 2 demos! I dunno about you, but I think that's pretty rad. I didn't take the opportunity to purchase any $5 t-shirts, though, figuring my waredrobe is large enough already... being full of $5 band t-shirts
On Monday night, I went to a gig with some friends. It wasn't the most underground of afairs, but fairly reasonable; no bands on major labels; no uber-big promotion company behind it. The ticket price was reasonable for the venue, and as such, I had some spare money for band merch (yeah, I know, but a gig souvenier is slightly different to a shirt purchased solely to wear, if you understand), as did my friends.
So, while they were happy that a shirt was "only" £18 ($30?), I felt disgusted at it. CDs £10? I'm getting used to about £6, including airmail shipping.
It made me feel somewhat alienated, like I didn't belong, and soured an otherwise enjoyable gig. The reason?
Punk rock ruined my life.
So, I'm taking the opportunity to give a shout out to DIY punk and all it's bastard sub-genres and spawn-offs. Here's to the awesomeness of contacting a band directly when you want to order something of theirs online; of ending an email by saying "BTW, if you're touring in the area, I have spare floor space if you need it"; of paying less than half the money people expect to for a CD, and finding that more work has been put into it than anything Sony, EMI, or Warner will ever release.
Here's to EMO for teaching me it's OK to cry at shows, and for teaching me that it's never been within a 200 mile radius of MTV and Alternative Press; to Dischord Records for saying "there's nothing available? Then make it yourself!!!"; and to the countless bands who have written words, thinking that no one would ever hear them, when each one was a phrase to live by.
And to you for reading to the end of my little rant
Seriously, I was sat in bed last night, listening to Rites of Spring, when it hit me that this DIY punk thing has been the major influence on my life for the past three years. In that time I've finished university, come close to death, fallen in and out of love, changed scenery and social circles many times, met some very cool people and some absolute idiots, crossed several items off of my "things to do before I die" list - and it's all been to the soundtrack of youth frustrated by what mainstream society offered them, and instead carving out their own little niche and mark on the world. It amazes me to think about it; how all over the world, these people are creating things expecting no one to hear it, but those that do will take it to heart.
I dunno if any of my MP Phoenix mates will have picked up on it, but the past few months have been hard on me, with prolonged unemployment due to a dying local economy, the stress of re-applying for university, and the sudden shift in my social life (when at university, I was out until 2am five nights of seven. I'm lucky if I can be out until midnight once a month now I've left) all making me, well, quite depressed and angry. The music I'm talking about here has done more to help me through this time than a thousand counsellors could. Quite frankly, I find few things better than sticking on a record and screaming "my bloody heart sleeps in the pit of her f**king stomach"; or plugging in my guitar and knocking out hyper-fast octave chords, not caring about how damaged by hands become; or drumming until my legs and arms don't work, laughing at the realisation that tomorrow morning is going to HURT.
Wow, this is a big post. But, I want people to understand how important something like this can be. I'm sure other MP members can think of something that has had a similar shift on how they percieve the world, that many will think of inconsequential, but is as important to some as their first born child. And I'd like to hear about it.
And if you don't have something that means this much to you, where the thought of a song can move you to tears of joy, where you can ruin yourself over pure love of it... how do you carry on? Before DIY punk, I had politics; but, my life before that seems to have been half-lived, an existance rather than an experience. I don't understand it.
And finally... don't hate on us emo types. Just because MTV took the word and changed it into a fashion term, it doesn't mean that we break down and cry at a moment's notice. Emo is not misery; it's catharsis, understanding, pure release. It's not a f**king haircut, or a t-shirt, or a tattoo. If you follow the link above, there's some free MP3s available that will show you what I mean. I hope anyone inclined to even look at a "punk rock" record - be it MTV-branded, or more underground - will take a half hour and have a look. I did, and found something I love as dearly as if it were a living person. I doubt that I would have finished my time at university, or looked into an ethical, socially productive career, had it not been for the influence of emo and DIY punk encouraging me to do something that matters.
And d'you know what's really awesome about the MP3 link on fourfa.com? I'm friends with the guy who wrote that!
Edit - furthermore, I just realised something. I'm sat here listening to La Quiete, an emo band - and the lyrics are all in Italian! I'm being emotionally moved by something I have no possible way of understanding, save through the sounds of the singer's voice. How incredible is that?
). I always found the Dead Kennedys and Misfits far funnier.
