Swipe's ... Generally useless sanity-saving banter.

A place to talk about... anything!
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Swipe
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Swipe's ... Generally useless sanity-saving banter.

Post by Swipe »

Ok, it's official... I'm really fuc*ing bored today.
I left my artwork at home and now have nothing to do. :roll:
So, I'm making this post of ... generally useless, yet sanity-saving chatter, from myself.. while I sit here at work.
But stick around.. you might learn some really useful words :P

Recently, some V.P. or other high-up at my company has decided that it is crucial to have us install a Websense internet filter with excruciatingly high restrictions and only sixty minutes worth of "quota time" which can be applied to -some- sites that would otherwise be blocked. This is an attempt to "enhance" productivity. Yuck.

(Translation from Nerdian to English:)
Some dude took away my internet surfing rights. I can't even browse pennyarcade.com! :x

You're all probably thinking "The audacity and temerity of those punks!"

Normally, I would be saying something similar.. but in truth, this place could use a lot less surfing... still, it would've been nice to be able to enjoy the limited amount of... "free time" I have here at work.

Maybe I should install an OS on this workstation where the command "kill all" does exactly what it sounds like it does. ... ... ! Even better! I'll go find that Sysadmin Quake game I used to have! Play quake that assigns a pid to each monster.. kill the monster, and it kills the process! bwahaha!

I'll perform some experiments and get back to you.

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Meeyutu
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Post by Meeyutu »

Hundreds of studies have shown that worker productivity is stunted, not improved when employees are given less freedom and trust. However when productivity drops because people can't take a break and read penny arcade or they have to skip lunch to go to the bank instead of using their online banking, I am sure your Management team will blame it on the windows being a distraction. :P I wonder if this VP can't surf internet porn now? bet this only applies to the people who use the net responsibly at work :/ Heheh sorry for the rant ^^
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Post by Mystiana »

Hvae you tried using a web proxy to bounce your request to PA? Most proxies seem to circumvent these filters pretty easily, though if your sysadmins have a clue, they likely already blocked the ones easy to find.

I had a job where the boss thought pretty much the same way, so I had to set up my own proxy somewhere. I'm just glad I don't work there anymore. :P
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Post by Swipe »

Yea, except the corporate network fails to work at all when connected to anything but their proxy.

I have a solution though. I just connect directly to one of my home computers and brwose using my own connection.

Looks like with the new MP address, they're blocking my access to this site as well.. the category "Entertainment" is filtered.

doesnt matter.. even though its a bit slower, I have browsing abilities once again :)

and I finally remembered my artwork.. and have her pretty much done. I just cant decide how to dress my mithran persona.. I'm thinking probably with the standard mithran starting gear, but not sure how that would turn out. I'll scan and post what I have done tonight when I get home Suggestions?

-Swipe

::::::::::edit::::::::::
On secon thought.. perhaps I won't scan and post tonight.. I dont want to post till it's complete .. kinda like a suprise :)

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Swipe »

Cat Physics:

1 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force—such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there's a really good reason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

5 - Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 - Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

18 - Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

19 - Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost
of the furniture.

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Cyndari »

Dayum!!! That's a lot of laws! :shock:

It's sucks that they put all those restrictions up, but at least you found a way around it.........kinda......sorta...... :?
[color=blue][b][i]Don't let fear cloud your judgement, for it will hold you back from all of your dreams ;) [/i][/b][/color]
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Post by Swipe »

Quite right Cyndari-kun. Kitties must have it rough with all those rules :lol:
Yea, I got around it... it's sorta laggy, but at least I'm still able to post, browse, etc. :)

Humm.. I cannot help but notice the boards are becoming gradually more dormant as of late. I'll make it a point to toss in some more content as time permits me to do so.

I was doing some uber-surfing the other night (I surf rediculously fast and always dig up some very amusing, interesting and funny content 8) )

Anyway, I dug this one up.. it looks like an excerpt from something like Planet's funniest animals, but I found it to be very amusing and entertaining :lol:

Anyway, I've got it up on my site, and can be found at http://www.crystalrecipies.com/qd/funnycats_1.wmv as a streaming video. The video is 2.7 megabytes in size. However, if you wanna download it, just right-click the link, and go to save target as, choose the location and save it. :)

Enjoy!

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Meeyutu
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Post by Meeyutu »

oh my belly hurts I was laughing so hard.. first those were some funny cats, also because my cat took notice of the cats on the monitor and was watching very intently. But most of all 3/4 through the video my kitty tried to pouce on one of the kitties in the video :)
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Post by Swipe »

How funny! My kitten also showed some interest in the video, but she never pounced :?

Speaking of which.. Here's something more for you cats to enjoy. Watch em in chronological order for best effect :D

Trunk Monkey 1. This streaming video is 0.97 megabytes.
Trunk Monkey 2. This streaming video is 0.98 megabytes.
Trunk Monkey 3. This streaming video is 1.03 megabytes.
Trunk Monkey 4. This streaming video is 2.13 megabytes.

Lemme know which one you liked best, or if you just loved them all :lol:

Enjoy!

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by sandra »

Hehe thats funny. The 4th one is the best and the 1st is the 2nd best.
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Post by MikaMeow »

Hehehe, that cats one was GREAT!
The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
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Post by Swipe »

Yup, I loved it also :)

Humm.. here's another amusing one. This streaming video is 1.01 megabytes.

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Swipe »

Here is an AMAZING group of photos of The Sedlec Ossuary (a.k.a. Kostnice.)
It is a small Christian chapel located in Sedlec,
which is a suburb in the outskirts of the town Kutna Hora.


Kutna Hora is a town in the Czech Republic about 70 km (44 miles) east
of the capital Prague. The town flourished during the 1300's due to the
immense silver findings in the vicinity. The town provided most of
the silver for the coins circulating in Europe at the time. As the town
grew new churches were built and old ones repaired and expanded.
One of the most famous medieval cathedrals, the Church of Santa Barbara
(Kostel sv. Barbora), was built at that time with money raised from the
miners from the area in honour of their industry's patron saint and
without involvment of any governmental funding.

Another less known church (but of major interest) was sittuated
in Sedlec - a kind of a suburb to Kutna Hora some 2 kilometres away from
the Kutna Hora town centre itself and got heavily expanded with a new
Chapel added to the old buildings.

The Sedlec Cistercians weren't just joining the Kutna Hora construction
boom when they started expanding. They did it because of practical
reasons. That chapel with its belonging graveyard had become a well-known
and attractive place to get ones relatives buried in a long
time ago. Why you may ask?..

The answer is to be found in the actions of a certain abbotnamed Henry. In the
year of thy lord 1278 the Cistercian abbot Henry embarked on a pilgrim
voyage to the Holy Land (Palestine). This was more or less common practice
for people of the church at the time. What he couldn't have imagined is the
effect a little symbolic deed that he performed would have on the future of
the little Sedlec church.

While in Palestine abbot Henry visited the Golgotha and from there he
brought back to Sedlec a jar full of earth. He referred to this as 'Holy Soil'.
When he got back he spread the earth over the Sedlec cemetery and thus the
cemetery begun to be considered as a piece of sacred land. The burial ground
rapidly became one of the most popular in central Europe and people from all
over the country and Europe came to Sedlec to get buried when they felt the
strength of life diminishing. Many brought their dead relatives or friends
to be buried in the holy soil of the Sedlec cemetery believing that the holyness
of the ground was a sure way to guarantee the buried a place in heaven.
Many corpses and bones were accumulated this way and especially during the
times of the plague (the black death) many who were about to die from the
disease came themselves to be buried in Sedlec. By 1318 over 30 000 bodies
were buried there and this gave rise to the creation of the ossuary.

The ossuary is located in the All Saints' Chapel built around 1400.
The chapel is still surrounded by a functioning graveyard and if you
take a careful look at the top of its towers you will see that
that a "jolly roger", or a skull and crossbones, replace the usual Christian
cross. The ossuary itself dates from 1511 when a half-blind monk
was given the task to gather the bones from the abolished graves and
putting them in the crypt to make place for new "customers". The task
may seem somewhat macabre and unenviable but it served a practical
purpose. Anyhow - now the material was in store and waiting for an
idea and someone to realize that idea.

A more questionable task than the one of the half-blind monk was the
one of the local woodcarver who as late as 1870 was hired to decorate
the inside of the Chapel with the human material (an approximate of
40 000 sets of human bones at his disposal.) The name of the artist
was Frantisek Rindt and the employer was the Duke of
Shwartzenberg. The coats of arms of the family Shwartzenberg was
one of the creations evolved from the artists mind. Another one is
the chandelier which contains every human bone in the body, several
times over, of course.

However questionable the Ossuary, it is real. The bones are real.
The feeling of death is real. But also the feeling of peace.
Most of the dead in the Ossuary died a "natural" i.e. non-violent
death and the bones were removed from the ground to give more
Christians the possibility to be buried on holy ground.
Take note that the church itself is not made of bones as
so many seem to think! The interior is decorated with human
bones but it's a "normal" church made of stone and bricks.

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Swipe »

I recieved an email today that I thought might be worth posting. it reads as follows:

Code: Select all

Subject: Truck Dedication

This is worth passing on... Very Impressive!

This truck was awesome. You can decide whether or not it is.  Here is some info I took down after talking with the owner operator.  Their names are John & Amy Holmgren. They live in Shafer Minn.
They thought this would be a nice tribute to the people that lost their lives.  It has every name of each person that lost their life on 9-11.  This concept was thought up by John and Amy, and totally paid for by them.  John says he will be awhile paying the loan off that he had to take out to do it but, thought this was the least he could do. Applied Graphics in Fargo ND did most of the work and Paul Kosenski did the Hand painting. He said that he got to meet the Country Singer Darryl Worley, who Sang the song "Have You Forgotten" and has gotten pulled over 3 times by the police just to get their picture taken by this truck. (I would have pulled him over too!!)

He plans on attending the Mid America Truck show in Louisville KY in March. I thought our employees may enjoy seeing the pics. It is called the Rolling 9-11 Memorial, it has all the names of the people that were killed on that day and the flights they were on plus some other graphics on
the side of the Tractor
Attatched were the following images:

Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image

All I could really say is.. "Wow."
-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Sirc »

Wow is right! That must have cost a fortune to have painted, not to mention the income loss while the truck was being painted. :shock:

A very noble sacrifice. And a very cool truck.
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Post by Swipe »

Indeed.

Here's a change of pace... See if you can pass the third grade again. :lol:

Just name the 48 listed states :o
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Sirc »

Heh, it took me 4 tries. :oops:
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Post by Cyndari »

I got 32/48 the first time, then I got it the second time. 8)
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Post by Kopopo »

I'm not gonna even try. I sucked at it then, I will now. 12 years of not using that information kinda leads to it leaking out of my brain.
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Post by Swipe »

http://mithrapride.figarocastle.org/boa ... c&start=15

lol @ kopopo
I use it in relation to work all the time.. so it wasnt really a big deal for me.. though I did get a few of the far-eastern states mixed up, I was in the right general area =)

Here is something I thought was really neat:
Image

Its an image of a Hurricane, that recently passed over florida (I forget the name of the hurricane)

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Jeniphel »

oooo - pretty picture.....
(and one not showing legs either)

but anywhos....here is a nice horoscope for everyone out there:

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
You've always believed that the children are our future, which is true insofar as most are cruel, violent, and short.

For more ( they change weekly):

http//www.theonion.com/horosopes/
A flash from the past! ... though it's probably more like a drive-by mooning.
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Meeyutu
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Post by Meeyutu »

Neat? That's scarey.

Anyway I'm Canadian so I have an excuse for only getting 45 :)
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Swipe
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Post by Swipe »

Someone dropped this to me in an email.. I thought it was just too cute to not post :D

Image

nice humm?

::Edit::
While I am on the subject.. I'll drop this one here too 8)

Image

I'm not sure if I should call this a good dog? or a bad dog? :lol:

-Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
[img]http://www.crystalrecipies.com/qd/Badgercub/New_swipe_sig.jpg[/img]
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Post by Mrjay »

I dunno, but I thought this was cool, too.....see if it works.....

Image

Heh....SAMs in action, huh?
Teal'c: Chelnak!

Daniel: Direct translation: Very cool!

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AAAAHOOOYYY!!

Post by Swipe »

Ahoy cats! I'm finally back again!
It's been so long that those meanies at square had made my poor swipe char inactive :|

so.. as I sit and wait for this horrendously large update to finish.. I thought I'd drop a post or two :D

Nice.. Love the changes here while I've been MIA... :o like the emoticons.. though some color matching would be handy.. s'pose I should get off my tail and do it myself... but I've been jonesin' for FFXI.. so the playing with colors will just have to wait.

At any rate, I've been a busy cat.. got too much stuff to do :cry: but I'm managing... might even get cr.com updated within the next week.. but don't hold your breath :P
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Swipe
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Post by Swipe »

I'd like a few opinions...

What should I do?

1. Continue posting my banter here
2. make a new, clean thread
3. Don't post it all

lemme know, as I've a few amusing (and bemusing) things to talk about :D

—Swipe
[size=92]~ Swipe ~ World of Midgardsormr ~ Rank 5 in the legions of Windurst ~[/size]
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Post by Rekahkun »

i vote new clean thread :)
Image
Image
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Post by Stephanie »

Swipe-
I know this is like a really DELAYED response, but that funniest cat video thingy was HYSTERICAL!!!

kudos to you for finding and posting it!
~Stephanie
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Post by Stephanie »

HeHe,
I posted before I read the rest of the "banter." It's too bad you're in the other World (I'm in Pheonix). I like the "social bonding" amongst Linkshell members through message boards outside of the game.

You make me laugh. :lol:
Clean slate, same topic, I don't care. :wink:
~Stephanie
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Post by Sivara »

I liked the cat video too. The cat fuzzing up at the mirror and the cat jumping out at the little kid reminded me of a couple of cats I used to have. One would hide around corners and jump out at people walking by. The louder you screamed and the higher you jumped, the more she seemed to enjoy it. Another cat I had used to fuzz up like that at a stuffed tiger I had as a kid. It was funny how she'd stick her butt up in the air and press the side of her head into the floor. :lol:

I miss having a cat. I can't have a cat anymore because I married someone who is really allergic to them. Plus, I live in crappy married student university housing, where they don't allow pets except for anything in a tank or a cage (which is why we have two smelly hamsters and four awesome fish). I hope that someday I can coax my husband into getting allergy shots so I can have a cat again. :D
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