The Bucket of Truth: A Dark Knight's Tale

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Baketsu
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The Bucket of Truth: A Dark Knight's Tale

Post by Baketsu »

Many months ago while whiling away the hours dabbling in magic and sword play as a Red Mage from the prestegious nation of San d'Oria I came upon an old man in the mines near Bastock. I approached this man and asked him what he was doing in such a dangerous place with him being so old.

He slowly responded with a cracked smile that would have warmed even Trion's cold heart. He said, "I am here to help you young ones learn the way of the Dark knight so that you may weild evil as a weapon for goodness." "In what manner do you teach your skill?", I responded. He then told me the tale of the first Dark Knight.

Many years ago there was a man named Kanno Bakukatta, he was a fine young paladin who was always helping people and being a generally nice sort of person. One day he came upon a goblin who was lying along the road to Valkrum Dunes. He asked the golbin if he needed help and the goblin promptly killed him and stole all his gil off his dead body. His brother was slightly less helpful and was a Paladin too decided to avenge his brother's killer. His name was Mako Bakukatta.

One day while he was tracking that no good piece of goblin filth down he came across a Dark Crystal. When he picked it up it burned his hand because he being a Paladin was of light and what he was trying to pickup was Dark. However this dark crystal was very powerful and deep down he knew this would be the item he needed to bring his too trusting brother to justice. He checked to see what he had on him and remembered he had caught a rusty bucket while fishing in the morning. He scooped up the Dark Crystal in the bucket and carried it all the way back to Bastock with him. He then went to see the sword smith to see if this could be used to make a great sword to vanquish that smelly gob.

The swordsmith was amazed and shocked to find out that the crystal had fused itself into the bucket and the two were now inseperable. Knowing this the smith hammered the bucket down into a sword and let it temper for the night. When he came back in the morning the bucket had re-formed itself back. Anooyed and rather cross that his job profession had been such a dissapointment he decided to poke two holes in the bucket and call it a helmet. The bucket agreed to this arangement and the holes stayed. The ex-swordsmith gave the bucket to our hero and he was mad, well he had to be because he ate too many cobalt jellyfish. So he wasn't really angry per se, but more of a raving loonatic. Anyway he put the bucket on his head and started hunting down the smelly gob that killed his too trusting brother.

Meanwhile the moogles, in an rather botched attempt to take over the world decided to enlist the help of some haunted armor. This plan like all moogle plans die a horrible death cause moogles aren't that bright. Anyway there was a lot of stuff involving wooden katannas and armor suits and there was this crazy guy with a dark enchanted bucket on his head running around south gustaberg killing every gob in sight. not a pretty sight if you ask me. The crazy guy with the bucket was feeling rather depressed that day cause some damn crab near a light house had eaten his favorite time piece and he was late for a meeting and that is enough to make anyone cross.

He went to to see the moogle cause he always felt happy talking to the schemeing little buggers. The moogle gave him a wooden katana and this made bucket man with a vengence happy. So happy that the mercury poisoned fool started banging the wooden katana against his head. The sound was glorious to him, being a crazy man with a bucket on his head, but damned annoying for everyone else. So the townsfolk banished him, not the spell, they just kicked his sorry ass out of town.

By this time the bucket had fused itself to the poor morons head. He decided to set out to San d'Oria to start a new life, or maybe because he was raving mad, I forget which. Anyways here he is in the middle of La Thine Plateau with a bucket that had been fused to his head while banging it with a wooden katana. He then saw a goblin lying beside the road. He stoped to ask the goblin what he was doing here. The goblin laughed and wanted to see the Mako's face. Many hours were spent trying to force the bucket from his head, but none worked, he even tried getting in a headbut contest with a battering ram, but that failed as well. Finally he used the katana to try to pry the bucket off and something unexpected happened. The bucket finally came off. Also the katana and the bucket fused together into a sword called a "Chaosbringer". "Not bad stats." said Mako, "But the delay really sucks". Mako promptly took 40 minutes to kill the gob cause it took 10 minutes to swing the thing.

When he got to San d'Oria he became the stuff of legend and became the first "Dark knight" of Vana'diel. That is after being treated for mercury poisoning and hair loss from having a chunck of scalp pulled off with the bucket.



I got up and looked at the old man with suspicion. "You don't think this is true sonny?" the old man managed to spew from his crooked grin. "No! I think you are a damned liar!!" I stated flatly. Then I promptly left and got the heck out of that godforsaken Quadaav infested cave.

A week later I had to go into the cave to help a friend and I passed the same place. There sitting on the same rock as I had sat on while talking to the old man was was his dead lifeless body. I checked his body for any loot I could steal since I was practicing the Theif trade at the time. I found a old tarnished copper ring, inside was an inscription that read, "To my brother Mako, Paladins forever-- Love- Kanno Bakukatta."

{Hmmm. }I thought, this could bring a few gil on the auction house.
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Baketsu
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Post by Baketsu »

No comments yet? Was it that BAD????????
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Yugi
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Post by Yugi »

i thought it was interrrresting.=^-^=
[img]http://www.fairyland.to/BakaMemo/catgirls.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.fairyland.to/BakaMemo/riaa-kittens.jpg[/img]
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Karou Ariyen
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Post by Karou Ariyen »

ACK~ it wasnt bad it was goood~ i just new i was missing a post i needed to :cry:
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Neoshinobi
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Post by Neoshinobi »

Fool! Everyone knows the first {Dark knight} was Zeid :roll:

The ending was...say...sad though.
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Baketsu
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Post by Baketsu »

^ Just gopes to show you cannot trust some crazy humes with mercury poisoning to get the story right. Especially when they keep banging the bucket over their head with their kataana...
Jobs: RDM-54/BLM-32/WHM-26/PLD-23/THF14-WAR17-MNK8-DRG17-DRK18-BST3-RNG3-SMN7-BRD1
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Karou Ariyen
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Post by Karou Ariyen »

ya smelly old humes ;)

oh wait, sorry ari, wait no im not :twisted:
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Warrior 81/Ninja 37 | Samurai 85/Warrior 40 | Puppetmaster 76/Warrior 37 | Dancer 41/Ninja 16
Solo WS=Raging Rush 2282 vs Boreal Hound | Salaheem's Sentinal's <> SECOND LIEUTENANT
Swift Illusion - Black Female Chocobo |Sahyu - Level 60 Soothing Healer |
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