Angst. Do not read. Or read at your own risk. (Pts 1 and 2)

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mozyr
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Angst. Do not read. Or read at your own risk. (Pts 1 and 2)

Post by mozyr »

God, I was going through the archives of my live journal and ran across this story I wrote way back in August (I think) after a really long night of gaming. Seriously, were it not for my friend Kevin (the guy who plays Sepharix), I would have dropped this game the second I got back from Russia, because I was sick of dealing with the BS that the LS I was on was having (long LONG story -- will tell if anyone wants to hear it.)

Anyhow. I was inspired to write this.

-- Sarah

-----

Part One

The past few weeks brought more trial and tribulation than she'd seen in many months, and so the red-headed Mithra sought to put it all behind her. Life had changed so much. Becoming a Dark Knight was a far cry from the calling of Red Mage, and the effects of such a drastic change in personal views were still rippling through her mind. Her mother had been a Dark Knight, though she hadn't been called to the path to avenge her mother's death. Her mother had always said that no matter what path she'd started out on, she would return to the path of her foremothers, Mozyr thought with a reminscent smile. The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how many of her questions had still gone unanswered.

With those questions in mind, she thought it best to head home to San d'Oria. She'd been wandering in and out of Jeuno, to Batallia Downs, even going so far as to enter the Eldieme Necropolis for a few moments of silent contemplation of her path. She hadn't seen much darkness in her life, though she had lived with mistrust. Perhaps that was why Dark Knight called to her so much. She did not want others to deal with such pernicious and hurtful things that caused her pain on a daily basis. She would get over it soon enough. If anything, she'd inherited her mother's resilience.

It was then, in the dark corridors of the Eldieme Necropolis that Mozyr heard the familiar sound of the San d'Orian national anthem playing in her mind. Perhaps she would find the answers her heart yearned for there, back home, curled up in front of her mog house fireplace. Returning home after a long, arduous journey abroad was always the way to a clearer mind. She'd seen so many things outside of Kazham and Jeuno, some of which she wished to strike from her memory. Her comrades had fallen beside her in battle, and she'd not been able to save them. The darker part of her nature thirsted for vengeance against the beastmen who'd committed such crimes. She hoped someday to wade through a swamp of their blood after the pain they'd caused. She would make them pay.

But Mozyr hadn't always been like that. Her mother had brought her from Kazham to San d'Oria at a young age, and had left her in the care of a great Elvaan red mage whom she trusted with her very soul; Celestiahne. Then, her mother had gone off to battle to fight with Thalasar in the Diabolos Brigade. Like so many others, she'd never returned. Of course at the time, Mozyr had been too young and innocent to understand why someone would want to sacrifice their life so that others could live. She respected her mother's decision to give her life for those freedoms she and so many others cherished, and hoped that she'd been killed running into battle, her scythe held high so that it shined in the sunlight, red with the blood of their enemies. Sometimes, she still missed her mother. It wasn't something she dwelled on. She didn't like to be unhappy for too long. Like others who'd lost parents in such a violent manner, Mozyr wondered sometimes if things would have worked out differently had her mother survived.

Ever since she'd wielded that great sword in Gustaberg, smiting her enemies, Mozyr instinctively knew that she'd chosen the path of her foremothers. But she had no darkness in her life; why had the sacred Fire led her down a path of such ruin and calamity? What made her worthy to wield the scythe? And why did she find it so intoxicating to weaken her adversaries before killing them, absorbing their lives into her own? She found the notions filtering through her mind to be very disturbing. There were times in battle where she could have sworn that she heard her mother's voice rallying her along -- but it was all just a flight of fancy, wasn't it?

It seemed as though all guidance had left her when her path chose her. Those who were once her friends quietly drifted away. There were some who remained by her side, but most now began to fear the burgeoning darkness that lingered just behind her eyes, sulking there in the shadows. No one ever met her gaze anymore, for fear of what stories she might tell. She was even afraid to look at herself, and was now doing everything in her power to hide her face from the world behind a helm of impenetrable armor. She'd nearly succeeded.

Hoping to cling onto some manifestation of the sacred Fire's light, Mozyr vowed never to completely give up her abilities as a Red Mage. There was still that part of her that enjoyed aiding to others. It worried her that that remaining part of her nature seemed to be giving way. It was just so much easier to give into the darkness completely. At least in doing so she wouldn't have to completely give up her sense of honor and duty, and would still help others in need. Avenging deaths was something she'd learned how to do quite well. The path set before her was still uncertain. It was that uncertainty that she did not like. Still, she refused to stray too far from her elected weapon, a primitive-looking scythe with a wooden handle and a blade, tapered to a paper-thin edge. Not committing to one path -- the one that had been chosen for her by fate -- would have been dishonorable not only to herself, but to all the mentors who'd instructed her over the years. Mozyr was stubborn. She never gave up. If a path called to her, even if it led only to ruin, she would follow it to the ends of Vana'diel.

But, she had to remind herself, there had been one who'd consistently walked by her side and waited for her when everyone else left her in the dust. He had been there waiting for her when she'd returned from her many months of walkabout. (OOC, I was in Russia, so I explained Mozyr's "disappearance" as her going on a walkabout through Vana'diel).

He was a kind and tall Elvaan Red Mage who'd caught her eye when she'd first started out on her path as a mage. They had been taught alongside one another. Then, of course, he'd decided to become a Warrior, still wet behind his pointed ears. She took to him almost instantly, and they became fast friends. Their paths diverged, however, and Mozyr was affianced to an Elvaan White Mage of great renown. This White Mage soon chose the honorable path of the Paladin when he was experienced enough to do so, and followed it with all of his might. Soon his work grew more important than their relationship. As much as it broke her heart to do so, the wedding was called off... She'd called it off.

It was ironic, Mozyr thought, that while she'd been waiting up on that rocky outcropping just above the bridge over the waterfall in Gustaberg that her old Red Mage friend walked past, catching her eye.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, watching her as she paced nervously from side to side.

"I'm getting married."

"You're nervous."

"Who wouldn't be?"

His voice dropped to a whisper as Leviticus, their wedding planner, looked up from rehearsing with the rest of the guests.

"Do you trust him?" the tall Elvaan asked, concerned.

"...yes."

"You hesitated. Don't lie to yourself."

She stood there and stared at him. The sun hung high overhead and gleamed like a cheap bronze earring.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mozyr asked a bit defensively. "You don't know anything about him."

"He's much younger than I am by our race's standards," the dark-haired elf said, cautiously peering at her betrothed, now standing in the center of the bridge. "I do not wish for you to hurt yourself. But good luck." He gave her a warm hug in parting, leaving her to her own thoughts.

Now she was more nervous than she was before. What could he have possibly meant?

*****

After the engagement was severed, Mozyr spent the next few days sitting outside her mog house, sulking under a tree. She lacked the will to step outside of San d'Oria's protective walls, because she knew she would have wandered into Ghelsba Outpost to die. Her heart had been broken. Celestiahne was no longer there. Leviticus had left as well, not to be seen. She assumed them both dead, which brought her even more undue grief.

Another friend had left her. No, someone she'd considered a lover had left her. While it hurt her deeply, and she knew their paths would never cross again, she took heed of Lady Celestiahne's teachings that she needed to pick herself up, dust herself off, and continue onwards, no matter how much sorrow she felt in her heart. For the time being, she simply faked being resilient, and found other ways to busy her mind, hoping to erase his memory. Either that, or learn from her mistake. She would never trust another Elvaan so long as she lived.

As recompensee, Mozyr returned to being a thief to see if that could fill the void in her soul. Stealing made her feel important, if a little selfish. It wasn't the gil that made her feel better, though it was definitely a perk. She couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that took away the pain. Maybe it was the anticipation that came with sneaking up and attacking an enemy from behind. They never saw it coming. There was just such a thrill entwined with hunting down monsters that might otherwise cause harm, and obliterating them. Yes, she thought, perhaps that was the point where she'd chosen to become a dark knight. It would have been fitting. She'd lost everything she'd ever held dear. Now she was reaping the consequences.

For several weeks, she'd been so busy with fighting that she hadn't bothered to buy a new set of armor. Again, she returned to sitting underneath the small tree just outside her mog house, alternately staring at the ground or watching adventurers as they walked by with their bundles. No one really noticed her. Which was fine. Mozyr remained quiet, staying with her thoughts, trying to evalute where she should have gone from where she was at. All paths led to nowhere.

Deep within her thoughts, she began to cry as she was kin to do whenever she thought of such issues from her past. She hid her head between her knees, her chest heaving with sobs that felt like they would rip her last breath from her lungs. And then she was overcome with an immediate feeling of warmth that started at her shoulder and traveled down her back. She reached up with one of her own hands and jumped back, startled out of her thoughts when she felt flesh meet flesh. Who was it that thought enough to comfort her when all she wanted to do was be alone? Shuddering with momentary fright, the gil in her pockets jingled as she looked up from where she sat...and for the first time in many weeks, she smiled.

"Hello, Sepharix, old friend." Mozyr looked over the tall dark-haired elf, and tried to string together another sentence. It had been so long since someone had actually reached out to touch her. She glanced away, unsure.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you look so sad. May I inquire as to what's happened? It's been so long." He took a seat beside her.

The red-haired Mithra dwarfed by the Elvaan's stature, took a deep breath and began her lengthy explanation of lost love and misguidance. "I'm fine now, really. Just have my pensive moments." She wrapped her arms around her knees, now drawn up into her chest as nighttime chilled the air. It had been so long since she'd been around a friend; now all she wanted was for him to leave. She didn't need anyone else being burdened with problems that she'd already dealt with.

"You really need new armor." He poked at her mismatched leather bodice and subligar, but got no reaction.

"Tell me something I don't already know." Dejected, she turned away. Buying new armor now was the last thing on her mind. She swatted him with her tail, catching him square on the back with the hit.

Sepharix got to his feet and walked towards his mog house. "I'll be right back."

Mozyr wasn't sure if she'd heard him properly. No one ever came right back. They just left. Still, she had nowhere to go, and was content to sit with her back up against a tree. She watched the elf vanish into his house and return a moment later with his arms full of something. Clothing? It couldn't have been armor.

"What is this?" Upon closer inspection, Mozyr could see that some of the equipment was Royal Footman's armor. One of the best types of armor money could buy, given her level of experience.

He came closer and dropped the bundle into her lap. "For you. Wear it in good health. I don't have use of it anymore."

She stared at it for a moment before putting it on. It had been a very long time since someone had given her something so freely, let alone a complete set of armor. "Thank you." Mozyr tipped her head sideways and studied his face, trying to figure out if he wanted anything in return. "I don't have anything to give you for it, though."

"It's a gift. Hold onto it." The hazel-eyed elf looked at her a moment longer, expectantly. "Good night to you, Mozyr. I hope that our paths will cross again one day, friend."

"Right. As do I." So many had said that to her before, and they'd never crossed paths again. Her words sounded hollow, though she hoped they were true. As she weakly lifted her hand to wave goodbye, he was gone. Mozyr's fingers slowly curled into her palm. Solemnly, she got to her feet and smoothed the creases out of her new armor. "As do I."

-----

Part Two (this was written a while later, if I remember correctly, so it might not be chronological)

Many months had passed since Sepharix had bestowed upon her a new set of armor. Mozyr had all but given up following the path of a thief, followed by many of her kind due to their natural dexterity. She wished to pursue a more honorable profession. One that would make others look up to her as a leader.

Over the past few days, she'd filled her pack with many items: the pelts of battering rams, bags of seeds that had been dropped from treants, and several dozen stacks of crystals. It was well past time for her to return back home. Using only her map to guide her, Mozyr trekked back through the green hills of Konschtat north to Valkurm. The Dunes had always been like a second home to her, especially when they were under San d'Orian control. She'd ventured there several times with her friends -- it had been her first real journey anywhere far away from her homeland, and she always found great comfort letting her feet sink into the soft, warm sand as she darted between the palm trees. It almost reminded her of home, minus the greenery and humidity of the Yuhtunga Jungle.

She paused between the trees and sat for a moment to catch her breath. She could see the Outpost from her vantage point in the oasis. Memories kept coming back to her. This was their place.

*****

Sitting at her oak table just in front of her fireplace, Mozyr put her quill to paper. The fire felt warm on her tail after having run through the rain in Ronfaure. For the entire night, she'd been exchanging messages with Sepharix between running supply quests to and from San d'Oria to various military outposts within the region. For the first of many times, she'd begun to question her training as a Dark Knight. Though she knew the path had chosen her, it didn't make walking it any easier. She'd met several honorable Dark Knights during her stay in Qufim. Listening to their tales of woe had helped her some -- the guidance they offered was priceless.

Her Moogle drifted lazily around the mog house, its bat-like wings lilting in the cool breeze coming in from the window.

"You look distant, kupo. But I know how to make you feel better!" The Moogle picked a few red carnations from one of the three potted plants in front of her. It bundled them up and handed them to her, then hovered over her head. "Feeling better, kupo?"

Idly, Mozyr handled the flowers with a gloved hand. She smiled at them and nodded softly. Flowers could still brighten her out of the darkest of moods. Especially carnations. They reminded her of the big, glowing red flowers she used to see just outside of her home in Kazham. She'd given Sepharix a red rose (her signature flower) in exchange for the armor he'd given to her months before. Thinking for a moment, she dipped her pen into an inkwell sitting next to her, and pressed it to the parchment, then watched as her words and ideas bled onto the page, black as night.

He'd spent the entire night the day before telling her that he would support whatever path she chose to take.

"Though the path of darkness is full of deceit, it does not necessarily need to lead to corruption," the wise elf had told her. He'd seen so much. Sometimes she still had her doubts, though he had proven to be true time and time again. Mozyr did not want to disbelieve his words. "Just remember that whatever path you choose to take, I will be at your side."

Her first instinct had been to reply with a snide remark. That was exactly what Cianius had told Celestiahne before he'd struck her to the ground. He was lucky she hadn't been in San d'Oria to have witnessed such an act against her caretaker and friend, or his blood would have been used to mop the streets. It was also what her former lover had told her. Though she did have feelings for him, Sepharix was still an elf, and therefore could not be trusted to keep to his word. So many had told her in the past that they would stay by her side -- it was those same people who were now afraid to even meet her gaze. They knew she looked upon them with great shame for the deeds committed against her. Still, if they were in need of help, she would do all in her power to aid them, true feelings aside.

Several times, she'd told the Elvaan Red Mage to prove himself. To wait for her, as no one else had. She was honestly surprised when he lived up to his end of the promise. What was more, Lady Celestiahne had encountered him on more than one occasion and approved of him, calling him "one of noble stature." Perhaps Celestiahne saw something in him that her suspicion of elves would not allow her to see.

He took her comment in stride and answered with great poise. "When have I not lived up to my word to you?" Sepharix asked, genuinely confused as to how she could say let alone think such a thing.

Disgruntled, Mozyr swallowed her pride and crossed her arms. "Never," she answered, perhaps sounding a little too bitter.

"Then you should know by now that when I make a promise, I keep it. It would be dishonorable to do otherwise." His eyes had a wounded look to them. It hadn't been her intention to hurt him and classify him with every other elf she'd run into. She knew better. Everyone seemed to think that all Mithras were meant to be happy and free, with a sense of fun and adventure. She felt anything but happy and free, and had no problem letting it be known. "The path of Dark Knight chose you. That is where your heart lies. You've told me that you've dreamed of it."

"Yes, I have."

"Then you should have no fear. Do not question the path that Altana sets for you. Follow it, and you will find your answers." He spoke such sage advice to her. It angered her somewhat that he could speak of life's choices so freely, like they were all already predetermined. If it was so easy for him to find the answers, why couldn't she find them on her own? Was she just looking too hard?

Sepharix's words had given her much to think about over the course of the next day. She hadn't seen him in so long. There were so many things she wished to express to him that could not be adequately expressed on a page, no matter how much of her soul she poured into her writing. Quickly, she scribed the note, just to get it out of the way.

You gave me much to think about last night. I've contemplated your words and thoughts for the past day, trying to see if I could find meaning in them. You said you'd catch me if I fell...that you'd be there to guide me in the right direction if I succumbed to the power of corruption. I cannot allow that to happen to you. I will not allow you to put yourself into danger due to the path chosen for me. It is not yours to walk. While you have seen much, I do not see the soul of a Dark Knight when I look into your eyes. You have no right to be so noble to me, though your nobility is appreciated. I do not require your assistance.

I know that like me, you are stubborn, and I will never be able to talk you out of what you've decided. Should you choose to stay by my side as I walk this path, I will do everything in my power to see to it that you do not come to harm.... You mean so much to me. I must see you again. Meet me in Valkurm Dunes tonight behind the Outpost. Our place. I will be awaiting your imminent arrival.

I...have missed you.

~M


Folding up the note, Mozyr snuck off to his mog house, then quietly slid the note between the slats in his door. Packing up her things, she began the half-day trek down to the Dunes. Once she arrived, she spent a good portion of her time in the sleeping in the shade behind the Outpost, being careful so as not to get any sand in her hair.

Sitting there, she watched an entire day go by. The sun rose in the east, reached its peak, and journeyed westward towards its nightly death. Her pointed ears cast long shadows over the white sand, and picked up on the keen sounds of a battle in the distance. It was getting late. Perhaps he hadn't received her note? It wouldn't have taken more than a day to get here. Or maybe he'd read it and just didn't care. That must have been it. She'd said too much. Still, Mozyr continued to sit there in the hopes that he would show up. After all, he hadn't failed her yet, and he always kept his promises.

As dusk settled over the Dunes, the sound of heavy footfalls roused her mind from a battle that she'd been watching not too far away. Looking towards the east, she saw Sepharix dismounting from his chocobo, which promptly turned tail to run back towards San d'Oria after the elf had both his feet on the ground. "I came as soon as I could. I thought you weren't going to show up."

"I was helping others. I've been waiting for the entire day. I thought you weren't going to show up." Mozyr replied a bit angrily as she looked up at Sepharix, who towered over her body like the trunk of a very large tree. She drew in a deep breath between her teeth. "I may be a Dark Knight, but I will not allow the innocent to come to harm. Especially by beastmen."

He took a seat behind her and pulled her into his lap. Mozyr turned around long enough to embrace him and rested her head on his shoulder. Taking off her gloves, she stroked his hair with her fingers, feeling utterly calm for the first time in months. "I've missed you so much."

Sepharix curled his arms around her much smaller body and held her close. "I've missed being able to hold you in my arms. But I'm here, aren't I?"

Releasing him, Mozyr turned around and leaned her back against his broad chest. "Yes. You've given me much to think about. I still do not know if the path I've chosen is the proper one. I have no darkness in my life, so why would I be drawn to it?"

"It was destined to be so. Of all the paths you've tried, this is the one path that has called to you more than others. You were meant for it. Your mother was a Dark Knight, was she not?"

"Yes, she was. It is a path not chosen by many Mithras who choose to live lighter lives. Most choose to be thieves, but I never saw any profit in that for me. I rather like being able to drain my opponents. To watch as their life withers away. But I feel that this path will only lead to corruption." She slung an arm around his shoulders and pulled gently on his ponytail, trying to lighten the somber mood. "I do believe that I will follow in my mother's footsteps and be an honorable knight."

"You defend the weak and the innocent and keep them from harm. There is nothing corrupt about that."

"I just keep wondering why this path has chosen me. And it still frightens me to say that I enjoy killing things. There are times, however, that I wish not to protect the weak. Sometimes they need to learn harsh lessons just like the rest of us."

Sepharix looked taken aback. "How can you say such a thing? The weak are those who need to be protected the most."

"No. They need to learn their limits just like the rest of us. The strong will emerge from the losses of the weak." Mozyr adjusted the large scythe attached to her back. She'd fought a powerful dark elf for the honor of wielding the blade, and she'd earned it. There was a long silence during which she listened to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. Nearby, she heard the battle cry of an elf as he raised his sword to smite a goblin. His sword fell too late.

Moving her out of his lap, Sepharix went to their aid. Being quite an adept Red Mage made it simple for him to raise their fallen comrade from the depths of unconsciousness. Mozyr stood at his side, her scythe drawn should any monster dare to attack while the two elves were healing. Nevertheless, she spied a group of goblins not too far from the Outpost, inching closer to the wounded group. Racing after them, vengeance in her eyes, she raised her scythe into the air. Soon the sand ran red with the blood of her enemies. Revenge had been served.

She walked back to Sepharix, still kneeling in the sand beside his Elvaan brothers, and sat at his side. Wistfully, she looked up at the stars. They all looked so different now. "I have chosen the path of darkness. Putting you in harm's way is not something I've intended to do. But I don't want to walk this path alone."

"You won't have to." Sepharix resumed his seat beside her in the sand. "Mozyr, you cannot make my decisions for me."

The Mithra held her head low. "I understand," she muttered. He wasn't going to walk the path with her. That was the answer she expected to hear. Her ears curved down as she waited for him to finish his thought.

He rubbed her back consolingly. "If I choose to put myself in harm's way walk beside you, nothing you say or do will change that. I have given my word. Have I not proven that already by being here? I've always stood by your side and will continue to do so, as you've done for me."

Elation trickled through her veins. She glanced back at him, awkwardly at first, and then a smile grew on her face. "I wasn't expecting you to say that."

"I have something for you." He reached into his pocket and produced two small scrolls. "They're spells to help you further along the way. Learn them when you are ready. They will serve you well, gracious Dark Knight."

Mozyr stashed the spells away for safe-keeping. She could always look them over later when she was ready to do so. Perhaps by then she'd have the answers she was questing for. Yet again, he'd left her speechless.

"Never forget that even in darkness, there is light. There must always be a balance. I trust that you will not stray from it." He put a warm arm around her shoulder and leaned forward, kissing her forehead. "I will be there to set you on the right path if you fall."

Mozyr took a deep breath. The air smelled faintly of sea spray from the two beaches that flanked the small port village of Selbina. It was a cleansing breath. It always helped to know that someone was there, even if she did choose to walk her path alone for the most part. She gazed up at the stars, peeking through the sparse clouds. "I suppose that it is as the saying goes. It's always the darkest right before the light. And even on the darkest of nights, there is still light at the end of the day."

A few minutes passed. She decided it would be best to leave Sepharix alone with his thoughts as she contemplated where to go next. "I must head back to my home."

"San d'Oria?" he inquired.

"No. Kazham. Perhaps the answers I'm seeking lie there in my homeland."

"I wish you well, then. I must be returning to San d'Oria before dawn. Just remember my words."

Mozyr stood up with him and picked her pack up out of the sand. Dusting it off, she attached it back to her belt and suddenly remembered something as Sepharix turned his back to leave. "Wait," she grabbed him by a wrist, "I have something to give you. Remember when I was still following the path of the Red Mage? You gave me your mother's Holy Sword. I have something to give in return."

She held out his hand and produce a large opal that shone with all the colors of the sun. "My mother crafted her own scythe. She would have inlaid this stone into her next creation, but instead passed it down to me, saying that I would know what it was for and when to use it if I ever found myself lost in the darkness." Mozyr placed the warm stone in his palm and closed his fingers around it, then looked beseechingly into his eyes. "I give this to you, now. You are my light at the end of the day. May I never lose sight of you in the darkness."

-----

Oh God, I am ded from teh angst. And, yes, all of this crap actually did happen in RP. It was touching at the time. Now I read back on it and think it was touching, then realize, "Oh God, that was angsty-wangsty." But it was fun!

-- Sarah
Last edited by mozyr on Thu Dec 09, 2004 4:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
[blue]- Sarah
[url=http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck]Bad RPers Suck[/url]
Mozyr, San d'Orian Mithra (5-2), Siren Server[/blue]
[url=http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?101810][red][b]60 DRK[/b], 51 RDM, 38 WHM, [b]37 THF, 37 WAR[/b], 33 BLM, 30 DRG, 11 MNK, 8 NIN[/url][/red]
[blue]Chaos sollerets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos gauntlets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos flanchard:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos cuirass:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos burgeonet:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow]
[blue]Genkai I:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Genkai II:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] Genkai III - V:[/blue] [yellow]X[/yellow]
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Karou Ariyen
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Post by Karou Ariyen »

awesome really great ^^
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mozyr
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Post by mozyr »

I just edited it and added a bit more. There were two stories there. Just got around to adding in the second one. ><

-- Sarah
[blue]- Sarah
[url=http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck]Bad RPers Suck[/url]
Mozyr, San d'Orian Mithra (5-2), Siren Server[/blue]
[url=http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?101810][red][b]60 DRK[/b], 51 RDM, 38 WHM, [b]37 THF, 37 WAR[/b], 33 BLM, 30 DRG, 11 MNK, 8 NIN[/url][/red]
[blue]Chaos sollerets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos gauntlets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos flanchard:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos cuirass:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos burgeonet:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow]
[blue]Genkai I:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Genkai II:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] Genkai III - V:[/blue] [yellow]X[/yellow]
Xaviar
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Post by Xaviar »

Damn!!! That shits off the chain! kick ass!
mozyr
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Post by mozyr »

The angst. It hurts.

-- Sarah
[blue]- Sarah
[url=http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck]Bad RPers Suck[/url]
Mozyr, San d'Orian Mithra (5-2), Siren Server[/blue]
[url=http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?101810][red][b]60 DRK[/b], 51 RDM, 38 WHM, [b]37 THF, 37 WAR[/b], 33 BLM, 30 DRG, 11 MNK, 8 NIN[/url][/red]
[blue]Chaos sollerets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos gauntlets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos flanchard:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos cuirass:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos burgeonet:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow]
[blue]Genkai I:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Genkai II:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] Genkai III - V:[/blue] [yellow]X[/yellow]
Xaviar
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Post by Xaviar »

If you mean angst as in a fearful or uneasy anticipation of the future, I feel ya.
I always get it to the point when I am so tense that I get bruises from the tenseness alone. You aren't alone just spill it!
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Anathema
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Post by Anathema »

Wow .. I wish I was ½ the writer you are o.O

great story!
Cats are like potatoe chips, you can't have just one. ,,,^..^,,,

THF50/NIN25
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Kopopo
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Post by Kopopo »

We'll have to compile these soon.
mozyr
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Post by mozyr »

/cheer

I tend to be my own harshest critic.

And now I must turn on the furnace, for it is freezing in my room.

-- Sarah
[blue]- Sarah
[url=http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck]Bad RPers Suck[/url]
Mozyr, San d'Orian Mithra (5-2), Siren Server[/blue]
[url=http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?101810][red][b]60 DRK[/b], 51 RDM, 38 WHM, [b]37 THF, 37 WAR[/b], 33 BLM, 30 DRG, 11 MNK, 8 NIN[/url][/red]
[blue]Chaos sollerets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos gauntlets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos flanchard:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos cuirass:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos burgeonet:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow]
[blue]Genkai I:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Genkai II:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] Genkai III - V:[/blue] [yellow]X[/yellow]
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Nyito
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Post by Nyito »

*nods* Very nice. I myself am an avid RPer, though I seem to lack the ability to write a full story without other's input. I do commend you on posting something so personal. Given the choice, I'd keep every journal entry to myself. But that is just me. *realizes how regal her post sounds* Yeah... nevermind that. <.< I'm usually a loose person. But it's 4am, and lack of sleep does stuff to me. x.X
Tailfeather
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Post by Tailfeather »

wow, i have no words, so awesome ^.^ what a story :)
mozyr
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Post by mozyr »

Thank you. ^^

--S arah
[blue]- Sarah
[url=http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck]Bad RPers Suck[/url]
Mozyr, San d'Orian Mithra (5-2), Siren Server[/blue]
[url=http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?101810][red][b]60 DRK[/b], 51 RDM, 38 WHM, [b]37 THF, 37 WAR[/b], 33 BLM, 30 DRG, 11 MNK, 8 NIN[/url][/red]
[blue]Chaos sollerets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos gauntlets:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos flanchard:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos cuirass:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Chaos burgeonet:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow]
[blue]Genkai I:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] [blue]Genkai II:[/blue] [yellow]O[/yellow] Genkai III - V:[/blue] [yellow]X[/yellow]
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Ephi
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Post by Ephi »

this is the 1st time ive been in the RP boards and this is really sorta the 1st thread ive been into in this "area"

really nice :2thumb:
I like jellyfish
Gimme a jellyfish
mmmm mercury :P
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v674/Lihera/Ephisig2.png[/img]
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KIRBY DANCE!!!
xaresity
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Re: Angst. Do not read. Or read at your own risk. (Pts 1 and 2)

Post by xaresity »

xaresity
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Re: Angst. Do not read. Or read at your own risk. (Pts 1 and 2)

Post by xaresity »

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