She knew I spent two month's worth of my fun money on this game and I froze my butt off and stayed up to get the game at midnight on the 29th so she wanted to know what the big deal was.
Its not that she's bad at games per se its just that GTA takes a certain jen ne sais quo that allows the player to get the most from the game.
Why am I qualified to teach you how to play GTA IV? I'm a GTA addict and I learned how to play GTA III from a GTA addict who got me to buy the game and worked with me after I cursed him out for talking me into spending $50 on it. When Vice City and San Andreas came out I used the tricks I had learned in III to become a force to be reckoned with. Those virtual cops shook in fear when I walked past because they knew I was one bad motherf***er.
Driving 101
The most important thing to remember is that your brake and throttle are analog. This means that you only need to squeeze the trigger as hard as you can when you need to get out of a place in a hurry.
Learning to maintain speed is just as hard in GTA as it is in a real car but once you master it you'll find it becomes second nature, just like in a real car. The best thing to do is to practice with a small compact car. Drive around the city, do your best to maintain with the flow of traffic and before long you'll have throttle mastered.
Braking is another issue altogether. You have two brakes. The primary brake becomes reverse when you stop, I don't care too much for this one personally but when you're driving normally its the best option. The other brake is your emergency brake. This is the one you want to use when taking corners at high speeds or when you're cruising along and suddenly see a huge pile-up or slower traffic.
Using both brakes at the same time will significantly slow you down and can help when you're in a police chase and need a "Hail Mary".
While you're out practicing your throttle control try braking, too. Practice cornering with both brakes at various speeds until you get the hang of it.
Cornering will make or break you as a GTA player. Good players can whip around a corner without making a significant sacrifice to their speed or do a 180 in the middle of a busy intersection and recover almost instantly.
Cornering is the one thing that will vary greatly from car to car. Muscle and Sports cars corner like a dream if you're careful with the brakes and throttle. Trucks, vans, and SUV's don't like to corner at high speeds and issues can arise when you over correct. Sedans and Coupes vary. The high-end luxury models tend to be a small step below the Sport and Muscle cars in terms of cornering but the cheap stuff...you get what you pay for. The old school cars tend to be a mixed bag, I've had some that perform like a dream and others that felt like a boat on wheels.
The best thing to do is to find a car type you like and do your best to stick with it. Learn how it controls and practice, practice, practice. Even in a car that you're not as familiar with you'll find that it takes less time to adapt once you get the basics down.
My personal favorite is the Banshee. I freaking love that car and I can outrun a five or six star rating no problem behind the wheel of one.
Surviving a shootout
Most GTA players I see attack a shootout like Tony Montana does at the end of "Scarface." Guns blazing, they scream "Say 'ello to my little friend" and are shocked when they fail the mission.
First, know your weapons and when to use them. Knives are only useful in melee combat. Same applies for fists and bats. Bats are awesome for headshots and knives work great for up-close work. Pistols are best for cleanup, headshots, and executions. In a firefight only use a pistol as a last resort. Assault Rifles are your workhorses. Use these for long-range fights. Submachine guns are best for crowd control. Shotguns work great for up-close fights with a crowd or armored foes. Sniper Rifles are situational; only use when you're thinning ranks prior to an all-out assault. Grenades and Molotov Cocktails are excellent for foes in cover. Just remember to be careful when using in cover and "cook" (Hold down the fire button for a second or two then release) your grenades.
GTA IV uses a cover system that allows Nico to stick, much like in Gears of War and like in Gears of War he tends to not want to unstick. Using cover is the first, second, and third rule to surviving a shootout. Without cover your armor and health will disappear fast. When close to cover hitting the Right Bumper (R1?) will make him take position. No need to kneel if the cover is low, he'll automatically do it.
While in cover use your aim reticle to lock on to a foe and either pop up from cover or blindfire to deal damage. While locked on you can see their HP represented Super Mario 64 style in the reticle. Watch this closely to avoid wasting ammo.
Once the foes in front of you are dead move fast from cover to cover. The level design in pretty much any area you'll be in a shootout will allow you to do this. "Roadie Run" from spot to spot and hit the cover button as soon as you arrive. As you move, try to grab as much ammo from your dead foes as you can. Don't put yourself at risk for it but if you can safely grab it along the way, do.
Once you arrive at your new cover spot take a moment to observe enemy patterns. Count how long they fire before they pause to reload. Watch how they fire. Do they pop up or blindfire? The pop-up guys are risky in a frontal assault but can be dealt with if you pop out, fire, pop back. Blindfire opponents need to be flanked and taken care of with a headshot or shotgun blast.
In many areas you'll find conveniently placed health packs and armor. If you need either, grab it. If not, make a mental note as to its location so you can come back later.
Driving 102
You have a three star wanted level, a sliver of health, you're boxed in, and a helicopter is right above you. How do you escape alive?
First things first, remain calm. Its just a video game and you can retry if you have to. Angle yourself towards the rear of a cop car and ram it as hard as you can. Holding the e-brake and throttle for a second to build up speed helps. This should break a hole in the blockade and allow you to escape. Your first order of business is to put as much distance between you and the cops as you can. Drive down the middle of the street, clip as many passing cars as you can and if you can, shoot some of them. This will cause the other drivers to panic, increasing the chance that a cop on your tail will get hit by one. The best case scenario is a big pile-up.
Use Straightaways to build speed but take corners carefully. If you built enough speed up on the straightaway you should have enough time to take the corner properly and still maintain your lead.
When you're wanted Pay 'n Spray's are hit or miss. If you don't see any cops on the radar go for it. If you see any, don't bother. If a cop sees you go in all you'll get is a shiny new ride.
You put some distance between you and the cops but that damn helicopter is still following you. Find an area with el-tracks or tunnels and use them. If you can, grab a bite to eat and/or a new ride. Carjacking is faster than hotwiring especially if you're armed. People don't screw around when it comes to surrendering their ride when you have a gun.
If you're nowhere near el-tracks or tunnels you have two options: put the pedal to the metal on a straightaway or whip around as many corners as you can in a totally random manner. Helicopters can't turn on a dime and can be outrun so use this to your advantage.
So you've escaped from the eye in the sky and no police followed you yet you're still in the wanted circle. What now?
Again, if you need to do so, grab a bite to eat or a new ride. Its risky but if you can do it successfully you'll find it'll increase your chances of survival. Once your needs are taken care of its best to keep an eye on the radar and be on your best behavior. The cops are represented by blinking blue and red orbs on the radar so do your best to avoid them. Being spotted resets the circle's center point and will bring more cops down on you. Causing trouble will result in a call to 911 and an update on your location.
Escaping is simple. Move outside the circle, don't commit any crimes, and in a few seconds you should see the radar zoom in real close then reset to the default view. That means you're in the clear!
Even following these tips and even with the best car and driving skills the unexpected can happen. I've been knocked off the road many times and had to either hijack a new car after escaping from my old upside-down ride, drive up a staircase, or abandon my car in the river and go for a swim. Being able to maintain your cool under pressure and think on your feet is the key to survival.
The Hidden Parameters
On GFW Radio this week Shawn Elliot talked about a mission where he couldn't take out a guy until they were on the roof together. There are a few missions like this in GTA IV. First time through you're not going to know this so don't be upset when you empty seven clips into a guy and he keeps going or you shoot out the tires of a car you're chasing, pump the driver full of lead, and turn the still-driving car into a flaming wreck.
The reason this happens is there is a cutscene you need to see or the person you're chasing is going for backup, thus making the mission a little tougher.
Cell Phone, email, and friends
In GTA IV you can now call people from your cell phone to hang out, get work, or receive favors. Some people will give you free rides, weapons, health, or other goodies.
Maintaining a good relationship is the key to getting what you want. Pick activities your friends enjoy. For example, Roman likes to go drinking, Michelle loves fast food, Brucie loves bowling, and Little Jacob is a fan of Katt Williams' comedy. If you can't make it to a previously arranged meeting call and let them know. Your friends will be more understanding if you call instead of leaving them hanging.
Email is another useful item. To access email you need to go to a Tw@ internet cafe and use one of their PC's. One character will give you side-missions via email and you can also use the web to find new contacts via the dating site.
When reading email you will see a reply with a
or a 
next to it. The will send a positive reply and the sends a negative reply.Now on to the internet. Besides finding contacts through the dating site you can also order new ringtones and backgrounds for your cell phone. Each ring tone or background is $100 and while not necessary it is nice to hear a new tone or see a different background.
I think I've covered everything and then some. If you have any further questions feel free to ask and I will answer as best I can.
Hopefully these tips will assist you in becoming a better GTA IV player and will enhance your enjoyment of the game.
Hopefully someday I'll break free from GTA IV's grip. She's a foul temptress that conquers your life with her style and beauty. Basically she's like a neurotic, controlling, insecure girlfriend that happens to be Katherine Heigl. Yes, she's ruining your life and is driving you insane but its Katherine Heigl!
This thing is the largest vehicle I've been ably to drive so far. This ship is easily six times larger than anything you'll see moving around in the water. Although it is slow, it takes a flurry of rpg shots to cut the engine of this thing. It doesn't do a whole lot for campaign, but My friend and I wre ably to survive three anihilator helicopters and managed to avoid most of the rpg shots being fired from land. To sum things up, this thing is a floating fortress.